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I Want Another Child, He Doesn't

3 Steps to Coping

By Lisa A. Goldstein

After discussion and therapy, if the decision is to not have another child, how can you cope? Fletcher recommends asking yourself what you wanted out of having a child, and then looking for other ways to satisfy that need. Try to make a conscious decision that you can live your life in a satisfying way without the addition of another child.

Other good coping strategies are to focus on the family you do have – its health, love and unity, says Susan Newman, Ph.D., social psychologist and author of Parenting an Only Child: The Joys and Challenges of Raising Your One and Only (Broadway/Doubleday, 2001). "Focus on the child you have, and make every effort to let him or her know she is more than enough, that she exceeds your greatest dreams," Newman says. "Focus on being the best parent you can be."

As for Childs, her husband did initiate the next discussion. In it, she was honest about how upset she'd been feeling since the last conversation. He asked her some new questions, such as when she would wan to have another child – though he hasn't yet agreed to one. Both partners continue to respect and think about each other's position; there's hope for them.

Throughout this difficult time, remember this bit of wisdom from Wade and Kovacs: "The goal is to improve your relationship, with or without children, and to strengthen the love and bond you have with one another."

*Name has been changed to protect privacy.

Want to see more?

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• Talk about it!