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A Partner in Birth

The Single Mother's Guide to Choosing a Birthing Coach

By Kelly Burgess

Although a big part of her life is spent as a paid birth partner, Simkin does recommend that even if a woman hires a doula, the mother have someone she's close to there during the birth as well.

"The doula is only a part of the woman's life for a short time," says Simkin. "A woman on her own benefits from having someone there who she has a long-term relationship with. This is not just for the mother either. There's something about being present at the birth of a baby that just makes that baby special, and it's great for a child to have someone in his or her life who has those long-standing feelings."

"I don't know why I picked her, I just knew I wanted her there for emotional support," says Ramsey. "She seemed to know about everything and it just gave me comfort to know that she was nearby."

Ramsey suggests that a single woman choose someone who can "go the distance." In other words, she likes to see a coach who is willing to go through childbirth courses with the woman, such as Lamaze classes.

This recommendation also comes from personal experience. Her mother took Lamaze classes with her when she was pregnant, but Ramsey was so overwhelmed by her worry of how she would cope after the baby was born that she admits she didn't pay attention. Fortunately, her mom did, and it really helped when Ramsey did go into labor.

Want to see more?

• Young, Pregnant and Entering Single Motherhood
• Choosing Single Motherhood
• Alone: Facing an Unexpected Pregnancy Without a Partner
• Talk about it!