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Trying New Traditions
Single Moms and the Holidays
By Teri Brown
Thomas believes that starting new traditions the first year after separation will help you heal more quickly from divorce. She gives the following tips:
- Change old traditions that you always enjoyed, but just enough to make them new, and "yours." If you always trimmed the Christmas tree as a family with the tree in the living room window, trim it this year with your kids, but get some new decorations or maybe put the tree in the corner by the stairway. Combining the old with the new will help you form that new identity of YOU after divorce, a task that all single parents must face.
- Build new traditions, perhaps based on rituals you had in your family of origin. Now is the time to reach back into your life before your marriage and bring out something you always loved as a child. If your own mom or dad took you to church on Christmas Eve and then served eggnog while you all sang carols, revive this tradition for your children this year. You will have a sense of continuity.
- Build brand new traditions. A single parent's personal growth involves continuing on the path of your life, and after divorce, the path is taking you in new directions. Building new rituals into your post-divorce reality will give you a sense of accomplishment and creativity. Although it's possible your children may resist doing things differently at first, they'll react positively when the holidays planned by their separated parents can give them even more to look forward to.
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