Hands Off

Since When Am I Public Property?

By Gail Montenegro

My biggest gripe during those nine months was the incessant unsolicited comments and advice that everyone I came into contact with felt compelled to share with me!

I took issue at the way friends, acquaintances and complete strangers would take the liberty of touching my stomach and, in my opinion, invading my personal space. People would invariably tell me how big or small they thought my stomach was, or how my heartburn meant that I was going to have a hairy baby, or how the Tylenol pill I was taking for my splitting headache would hurt my baby, and then go on to tell me their own personal and traumatic childbirth stories. It was as if having a big belly suddenly threw me into a category labeled "Public Property," and it was a label with which I wasn't quite comfortable.

I was fortunate to have a doctor and a wonderful husband who would both constantly reassure me and tell me that I was going through a perfectly normal pregnancy. The best advice that my doctor ever gave me was to take everything I heard with a grain of salt until he could confirm or deny it for me. He also encouraged me to respond to these unsolicited comments in the following manner: "I appreciate your interest in my pregnancy, but I haven't asked for your opinion. When I have a question, I'll be sure to let you know."

Another advice my doctor gave me was to tell everyone that my due date was a week later than it actually was. That way, if the baby was a week late, as my son, Alex, was (and as many first babies are), then I wouldn't have to put up with daily phone calls from anxious family and friends once my actual due date came and went. What a great way to keep over-enthusiastic meddlers at bay!