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Home › Articles › Mental and Emotional Health › Your Postpartum Image

Your Postpartum Image

How to Love the "New" You

By Katherine Bontrager

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It's a strange dichotomy – this new you. Now that the baby has arrived, you are indeed different. Your body is different, your hormones are all over the place, and above all else, you're now a mom. And it's that mother role that occupies all your time, and even now, much of your body. So how do you re-establish that second part of the equation: the "old" you to mesh with motherhood?

If anyone understands just how different you feel after giving birth, it's Sue LaDuke Williams, who gave birth to twin girls (weighing 7 pounds, 9 ounces and 6 pounds, 2 ounces) last year. "It sounds funny, but being a mom and what you do because you're a mom really changes how you perceive yourself," she says. "Carrying twins obviously changed my body quickly and with great impact. But when I say that I became big, I really mean huge, and as a result, my body still shows the signs, and it's been a challenge coping with the aftermath. That in itself has been the biggest barrier to feeling like myself again. I simply look different."

While she slowly incorporated more activity into her day to ease her body back into shape, LaDuke Williams encountered some major hormone shifts that affected how she perceived herself. "I experienced some real depression in the first two weeks after the girls were born, and I worried that I would never be happy again," she says. "I felt guilt, sorrow, longing for the babies and sadness at how I had changed. But through it all, I managed to keep positive and do for myself things that I knew would make me feel good."

Indulge Yourself
Not that taking it easy on herself came easily – LaDuke Williams' husband had a say in getting the new mom out of the house for some much-needed self love. "When the girls were about a month old, my husband (who took six weeks off work to be at home with me and the girls) demanded that I go out and spend the day doing things for myself," she says. "At first, I felt tremendously guilty for leaving him with two new babies (each had bad reflux, which included lots of screaming and not a lot of eating) just to spend time on myself. But I forced myself to go. I made a conscious decision to make the most of my time away and to really indulge."

"I made a hair appointment at Aveda and had a badly-needed haircut that included a scalp massage with aromatherapy oils," says LaDuke Williams. "That made my week! It was so relaxing and peaceful that I didn't mind spending the $80. I then got a pedicure (both of my heels had cracked under the extreme weight of my pregnancy and were in need of some TLC), which always makes me feel good. I had a yummy lunch at my favorite restaurant and did a little shopping for myself. And to appease the guilt gods, I bought some adorable clothes for the girls and a thoughtful gift for my husband. All the while, I checked in with my husband and made sure that I wasn't needed at home."

It was that experience that made LaDuke Williams realize just how important "me time" was. And she's not alone. The need to start feeling feminine again is foremost on many new moms' wish lists.

Reestablish Your Sense of Self

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