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Single By Choice
Choosing Single Motherhood
By Virginia Gilbert
"My family was very supportive. My mom and I are closer than we've ever been," Heather says. "I also was inspired to be the best I could be -- for myself and for my baby. I now have a great job and a bright future for both of us."
When her son was three days old, Heather moved 300 miles, back home to Texas so her mother could help her during the early postpartum weeks. She now works outside the home as a technical writer and has "adopted an attachment parenting style to become closer" to her baby when she isn't working.
Perhaps because Heather and her son have love and support from her extended family, she states that finding a father for her child is unimportant to her.
"As long as my son has plenty of positive role models, male and female, I will have done the best I can," Heather says. "If I do choose to find a partner, I can at least make sure that he will love my son as much as I do before I make a commitment. My son will get to pick his father, rather than having to deal with the one he was born with."
Heather resents the common assumptions that single mothers are "uneducated and immoral -- or teenagers." While she urges women who are contemplating single motherhood to save money for legal issues, postpartum help, clothing and baby supplies, she wholeheartedly asserts that she's happy with her situation.
"I wouldn't have done it any other way! I feel like my life started over when I found out I was pregnant. I am happy and very proud to be a single mom!"
Stay tuned for the second part in our single motherhood series, in which two more "single mothers by choice" share their stories, and the experts tell us how single moms can prepare for life after the baby arrives.
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