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Single and Pregnant

Creating Your Own Birth Community

By Teri Brown

Logistics are often the first thing a woman considers when faced with having a baby on her own. Who is going to help with birthing classes or drive you to the hospital? Who is going to take you and your new baby home? Who is going to be there to help out with the baby when you are totally exhausted?

These logistics seem like small details but can look like a mountain to the woman facing them alone. In addition, the weight of that constant responsibility can really wear you out just at a time when you need all of your energy and positive focus.

As you look down the road at pregnancy and single birthing, you will need to look at your priorities and decide what you need to keep in your life and what you need to let go of. You won't be able to keep up with everything you had going prior to becoming pregnant and having a child. Figure out a way to care for yourself so you will be in the best emotional and physical shape to meet the challenges that lie ahead. Once you have done that, it is time to consider how to build your birth community so that you can take care of all the little details that pregnancy and birth require.

"By having a strong birth community you can take really good care of yourself throughout the process, rather than toughing it out alone through pregnancy, labor and parenthood," says D'Amico. "A birth community also provides you with a wealth of resources to draw upon throughout your pregnancy and first year as a parent."

D'Amico believes that women, especially those pregnant with their first child, are often confused and bewildered by the changes in their lives and bodies. Having someone you can call when you're scared about the health of the baby, someone who can go with you to a prenatal appointment and someone to share in the amazement of the process will go a long way in helping a new single mother feel confident in her own abilities to get through it successfully.

Another advantage is the fact that your birth community won't just disappear when you give birth. Most people will be there as you raise your child, and this sort of support is irreplaceable during those first few overwhelming years of mothering.

"By taking some time to build this kind of a community for yourself, you don't have to feel alone when you go through some of the larger challenges that come with pregnancy," says D'Amico. "A supportive birth community gives you access to the wisdom and perspectives of others, and when it comes to pregnancy and parenting, wisdom and perspective can be invaluable."

Want to see more?

• Unassisted Birth: Is It for You?
• Kids in the Delivery Room
• A Partner in Birth: The Single Mother's Guide to Choosing a Birth Coach
• Talk about it!