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Home › Articles › Fatherhood › Mr. Sensitive

Mr. Sensitive

Showing Your Pregnant Wife You Care

By Katherine Bontrager

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Pregnancy can bring out insecurity in a woman. Hormones are churning, waistlines are expanding and life is about to change in a very big way. So it's up to dads to step things up a notch and make moms feel loved, adored and sexy.

In The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever (Jossey-Bass/Wiley, 2006), Dr. Scott Haltzman details how men can keep their marriages happy and healthy. At no time is this advice more pertinent than during pregnancy. Dr. Haltzman says it's exceptionally important for dads-to-be to show how much they care when Mom isn't feeling incredibly secure – such as when she's expecting. "And there are countless creative ways to show your wife you care," he says.

Let Me Count the Ways...
One of the easiest and most considerate things you can do is to give your wife a much-needed break. "You may not appreciate all the things your wife puts energy into every day – from calling your parents to check on them, to putting the laundry away, to driving by the bank to deposit her paycheck," Dr. Haltzman says. "So sit down with your wife and ask for a full rundown on how she spends her day; then offer to take some of the load off her hands. But don't just do it for one day: Keep it up until well after the little one has arrived."

It's no surprise the woman in your life is going to need an extra set of hands as life gets more complicated. What you may not expect is just how important the simplest of touches can be. "Physical touch means a lot to your wife at a time like this," says Dr. Haltzman. "Her swollen extremities are calling out for a good rubdown. Start by going out and finding a mild, lightly scented body lotion. (Remember, she may be sensitive to strong scents at this phase in the pregnancy.) Then, gently massage her feet and hands."


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