Unspoken Gestures

Valentine's Day Ideas for the Mom-to-be

By I.J. Schecter

It can be hard enough trying to come up with a Valentine's Day gift for your sweetheart under ordinary circumstances, but when she's also carrying your baby, you really need to step up. The best way to express your gratitude is through words – you can never utter those three little ones enough – but it helps to let your appreciation be known through unspoken gestures, too.

Here are five conventional, but important, ways to say "I Love You" to the person responsible for nurturing your growing baby, plus three ways to get a bit more creative in your efforts.

"Flowers are always a reliable way to provide a little lift because they add color, life and beauty, especially at a time when your partner may be starting to feel less attractive and a bit down," says Darrin Butler of Terrain Flowers in Toronto, Canada. In other words: You can never, ever go wrong with flowers. Any time, any day, any type. Well, not any type. Your partner may have one or two types of flowers she isn't particularly fond of. Find out what these are, avoid them and then let the gladiola and snapdragon parade begin.

Even the most uneventful pregnancy is fraught with discomforts, which only get worse as the weeks move along. Foot rubs, shoulder rubs and hand massages all help tremendously, even if temporarily. The best thing about massages is that your technique hardly matters. What matters is that you put in the time to let your partner know you understand what she's going through.

Though crazy gastronomic cravings in pregnancy can be somewhat over-reported, you do need to develop lightning-quick reflexes when it comes to finding food or drink for your partner. Always be ready with a glass of water, can of ginger ale or scoop of ice cream. And pay attention, as the pregnancy progresses, to the types of foods, smells and sensations that make her queasy. There is no predicting what these will be; they're different for every woman. More important, you have to accept that they're valid even if you don't understand why. Believe her when she tells you the smell of souvlaki from six houses away is making her sick or that the smell of the onions you had with your hamburger two nights ago are wafting toward her. And when she says, "I feel like I'm hungry, but I don't know what I want," don't say, "Mm-hm," while keeping one eye on the game. Give her a list of three to four choices that range from simple (toasted bagel with butter) to more elaborate (chicken sandwich on rye with Dijon mustard and dill pickles on the side), then be ready to prepare her preferred choice lickety-split.

Want to see more?

• Love for Less: 15 Ways to Say "I Love You" for Less Than $15
• Ideas for Valentine's Day: Ten Healthy – and Alluring! – Suggestions
• What's for Dinner?: An After-hours Valentine Dinner
• Talk about it!