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No "Ifs," "Ands" or "Buts"

Overcoming Disagreements
during Pregnancy

By Katherine Bontrager

Amid the sheer joy surrounding the news of your pregnancy, there may be some unexpected hiccups when it comes to seeing eye-to-eye with your spouse. Did your husband really say if you have a boy he should be named Beauregard in honor of his great-grandfather? And will your child be raised according to your religious beliefs or your husband's? Many unforeseen disagreements can crop up, and you may be surprised just how unwilling everyone is to budge.

Jessica Yager from Drexel, Mo., encountered some resistance when it came to deciding what to name her son. It seemed her husband liked every name that she loathed. It wasn't until several weeks before their son was born that the couple decided on the one name that didn't put each other on edge: Garrett.

"We also disagreed on what color to paint the nursery," Yager says. "I wanted blue, but Sam doesn't like blue, so we went with green. The debate was slightly unexpected, as I didn't realize his aversion to blue was that deep-rooted. As well, Sam is kind of iffy on Garrett attending public schools."

Yager admits these debates began as casual conversation. However, as her pregnancy progressed, urgency started to replace any casualness. Thankfully these new parents are adept at compromise. As Yager is first to admit, she doesn't find much pleasure in winning if her husband is unhappy with the result. "While our disagreements were very minor, anything – even names and colors – can become emotional with all the hormones charging through your body," she says.

And Yager is far from alone in her experience, experts say. Parents-to-be fight about parenting styles, in-laws, money, time, work and sexual issues. So it's important to be prepared to tackle these discussions. Half the battle may just be being aware of what you're up against.

Want to see more?

• Fight Fair: Don't Argue in Front of Your Kids
• Grunts, Snarls and Verbal Abuse: How to Break the Silence and Poor Communication Patterns
• Early Communications: Decoding Your Premature Baby's Signals
• Talk about it!