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No "Ifs," "Ands" or "Buts"
Overcoming Disagreements during Pregnancy
By Katherine Bontrager
(Heartful Loving Press, 2004). "And if you're parenting with a partner, these issues will challenge you to come to a shared perspective. Do you want to have TV? What religion should the kids be raised in? Are you lenient or strict with discipline? The list goes on and on."
Schiffer encourages parents to start thinking about these topics before they're faced with such dilemmas. "Start talking about possible issues and at least figure out where you're lined up and where you're not," he says. "Decisions will have to be made, or your kids will make them for you."
Much of the decision-making breaks down into pregnancy-related, baby-based and child-rearing topics. A few of the minor and major things Schiffer says soon-to-be parents need to discuss include the following:
- Do you want to know the sex of your child?
- How do you feel about amniocentesis?
- Do you both want to participate in the pregnancy – exercising, going to birthing classes, being present at delivery?
- How much time can each of you take off after your child is born?
- Which (if any) family and friends will help out with your new child?
- Whose last name will your child have?
- Which religion (if any) will your child be brought up in?
- Who will wake up at night to change a diaper or comfort a crying baby?
- Do you think cloth diapers are important or are disposables OK?
- Will your child wear all-cotton fabrics or are synthetics fine?
- Do your friends have children? Will you need to find a new group of folks to interact with (at least to find other children for your kids to play with)?
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