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Decisions, Decisions

Before-Baby Considerations

By Melinda Copp

Having a baby is a big decision. But it's the kind of decision that comes with numerous other decisions, such as what to name the baby, what religion to raise the baby and whether or not to breastfeed. The decisions you make as parents are the decisions that will shape your family life, and these decisions aren't always easy to make, especially for young couples who don't have much experience negotiating and making decisions together.

Even experienced parents are faced with a number of decisions when a new baby comes into the picture. And many, knowing all the decisions they didn't make the first time around, take a more proactive approach with baby No 2.

"With my first child, I didn't bother to educate myself at all," says Rachel Mosteller, a mom from Houston, Texas. "I'm sure there were reasons, mainly the one that it was a surprise and I was under a lot of stress personally, but I wasn't informed. With my second, I researched my options and decided what I wanted and what I didn't want."

Choosing a family religion is a no-brainer for some couples, but it can be very difficult for those with different religious backgrounds. When making such personal decisions, couples should start with a conversation about their values. And when approaching any decision together, consider what's most important to you and what isn't really that important at all.

"When partners talk about these issues, it is good practice for parenting together in the future," says Lynne Reeves Griffin, a faculty member in the Social Work and Family Studies graduate program at Wheelock College in Boston and author of Negotiation Generation: Take Back Your Parental Authority Without Punishment!

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