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Two Under 2

The Joys and Challenges of Children Close in Age

By Mark Stackpole

out to be quite different.

"She was a great baby who ate well and slept well for long stretches," says Maddox. "She was completely the opposite of Thomas who had to be held all the time, even at night. Having two that close together was actually easier than having my son when he was a newborn."

Mindful of the upcoming changes in the family structure, Maddox turned Anna's arrival into a learning experience for Thomas, now 3. "We prepared him for what was to come because we knew that we could not wait on him hand and foot," she says. "He was very independent once his sister came and was very mature for his age."

Still, Maddox wanted to make sure that Thomas did not come to think that the new baby was getting all the attention. If both children happened to be crying, she would alternate to whom she would go first.

"Sometimes if I calmed him down, he could even help me with Anna, and that made him feel special," she says. Their focus on the children's needs and their own patient parenting techniques worked well enough to allow a plane flight to New York for a family reunion when the children were 2 and 9 months old. While a trip like this is a potential nightmare for any parent, this one proceeded disaster-free.

Through all of the successes and challenges with the children themselves, Alan Maddox found that there were other issues that faced him not only as a father but also as a husband. "It was hard having such a long span of pregnancies and postpartum," he says. "It is hard for a husband to deal with all the hormones that never seem to settle down during and after pregnancies. With the kids so close together, it was over two years of hormones with no break."

Even so, Maddox is definitely glad that they had the children so close together. "I think people wait years between kids because of money or because they think it will be easier," he says. "Most people thought we were crazy and just laughed at us. Once we lived through it and saw what a blessing it was to have them so close, we were both very glad for the way things turned out."

Want to see more?

• 2 Under 2 Discussion Board
• Twins Today
• She Won't Break! New Dads With Newborn Fears
• Welcoming Your Second Child
• Sleep is on the Way!
• Talk about it!