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Postpartum Dad

Helping With Labor, Delivery and Baby's Homecoming

By Carma Haley

Ask any parent and he or she will tell you that having a baby is hard work. From the time a couple learn they are expecting, the work begins: buying baby furniture, scheduling prenatal care, choosing names, requesting leave from work, and the list goes on.

At times, it can seem overwhelming. However, there is a way to make all these tasks much easier to handle: have Mom and Dad work together. Your job isn't done at conception. With the arrival of a new baby, there is plenty for everyone to do.

Labor pains can come when least expected. Having a "due date" does not necessarily mean that the baby will choose that day to come into the world. The onset of labor can bring with it emotions that your partner did not expect, such as nervousness, anxiety or fear. In fact, it is at this time that a mother may not even understand what she is feeling, says Francine Deutsch, professor of psychology at Mount Holyoke College in South Hadley, Mass., and author of Halving It All: How Equally Shared Parenting Works.

"When the contractions start, they are usually subtle and can be handled well, giving the illusion of ease," Deutsch says. "But as labor progresses, they begin to strengthen and last longer periods of time. A woman may get nervous, feel she cannot handle the situation or she may just get scared. This is the perfect time for Dad to step in and help."

While labor and delivery are mainly Mom's job, you still have your role to play. "The onset of labor is Dad's cue to take over," Deutsch says. "Mom is going to be concentrating all her energy into her labor and may not have enough left over to take care of details such as remembering her bag for the hospital, calling relatives, notifying the doctor or finding the car keys. This is where Dad comes in and can be a great help. But most importantly, Dad's job is to be Mom's support; this is crucial."

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