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Embracing an Unplanned Pregnancy
A Real-life Guide to Overcoming the Unexpected
By Jacqueline Rupp
"I couldn't even look at the pregnancy test. I asked my boyfriend to go into the bathroom and read the results. He came out and said, 'Yes. It's positive.' All I remember next is that I couldn't stop crying," says Charlotte*, a young mother from South Jersey who became pregnant while attending college.
"I was so devastated and felt like I had failed so many people in my life," Charlotte says. "It's hard to believe how far I've come from that day. It took a lot of hard work and support from my boyfriend and family, but ultimately, becoming pregnant led me to such wonderful experiences and opportunities. I can easily say that being a mom has made me a better person and I am so grateful for the family I have."
Pregnancy is usually a time for celebration and anticipation, but if you're experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, it can be anything but a time to celebrate. Feelings of anger and guilt, stresses about money and relationships and uncertainty about what to do next can torture your mind. But it doesn't have to be this way.
"Feelings are what make life a happy or unhappy experience," says Lauren Graham, a life coach in Downingtown, Pa. "There are moments in life when you feel out of control when things are bigger than you believe you are capable of handling. Being on the brink or in the midst of being a new mom is one of those moments. It is the fear of inadequacy, failure and being able to take care of another human being. The good news is that being a mom is about growing up with your baby, learning together. What you learned yesterday makes you a better mom today, and each day you become more confident in your ability."
An unplanned pregnancy can happen to anyone – rich or poor, young or established, single or married with children. After confirming pregnancy, you have several options, but for many the choice is clearly to proceed with the pregnancy and keep the baby. That doesn't mean that everything is then settled. There's still a long road ahead, full of adjustments and acceptance. To turn the unexpected into a positive life experience requires you to consciously come to terms and embrace your new life. Here are some key points to consider.
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