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An Easy Labor?
A Dad's Eye View of Labor and the Birthing Process
By Mark Stackpole
We don't understand all of the myriad mysteries of pregnancy and the birthing process, and we never will, but it doesn't mean we should stop trying. One of the most important things we can do is to be open to the fact that the process can be difficult to manage and impossible to predict.
"There is much that we cannot control and being willing to be flexible takes the pressure off in a huge way," says Jennifer Walker, a registered nurse and co-author of The Moms On Call Guide to Basic Baby Care 0 – 6 Months (Revell, 2007). "It is fine to have a birth plan as long as you know that the adventure ahead may bring some unexpected changes. It's like a punt-fake in the last minutes of the game – not what you were thinking, but you still score a baby in the end."
OK, fake punt. Language we can understand. It would be a mistake to assume that we know nothing and our partners know everything. If this is your first baby, you have both seen some videos and read some books, but nobody learns to drive from reading the manual. Get ready for some real life in that delivery room.
"Often she has no idea what she will really need until it is happening," Walker says. "Again, being flexible and supportive is great, but do not forget that you get a front-row seat to 'the most immortal thing a mortal can do.' It is exhilarating and intense. Remember to patiently support the process. Promises of all varieties are welcomed. Some suggestions: 'I will clean the house for a year'; 'I will hire you that personal massage therapist you always wanted'; 'You can have the minivan you wanted. I really do think that the new ones look cool.' Just remember to follow through. She will remember."
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