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Labor, Delivery and Dad?
When Dad-to-be Is Reluctant to Be in the Delivery Room
By Mark Stackpole
The transition from scared man to triumphant coach is one that Dr. Jo Anne Davis has seen many times. As a certified nurse-midwife and member of the midwife faculty at the New York University College of Nursing in New York, N.Y., there is not a lot that she hasn't dealt with in the delivery room. "There are, of course, a wide array of feelings that men experience as birth approaches," she says. "If I were to categorize broad categories, I would identify two large groups: those men who are totally engaged in their partners' intense work and are fully present to and eagerly anticipating this amazing life event; and those men who are very anxious about how they will personally deal with something momentous for which they have no previous life experience. The latter group seem torn between supporting the woman and their own personal insecurities about their ability to cope with the actual birth."
Some pregnant women have anxiety about how their partners will handle the situation. Their concerns sometimes stem from knowing that their partners do not deal well with issues pertaining to the female body or perhaps have been through some traumatic event involving injury. "I have certainly seen women supporting their partners, reassuring them verbally, urging them to stand where they won't see much, suggesting things for them to do, or holding their arms or shoulders while they push," Dr. Davis says. "Women who do this do not seem o experience resentment that they are in the most dramatic work of their lives and are 'taking care' of their partners rather than their partners taking care of them during labor. It seems to me that this is somehow a perhaps unspoken part of their unique relationship as a whole."
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