quick clicks

pregnancy today articles

pregnancy today q&a

message boards

research baby names

prepare a birth plan

content channels

ip channel rss feeds

read birth stories

read parenting stories

recommended books

e-newsletters

safety recalls

ip diaries

ip store

mom of the month

dad of the month

editor's letter

letters to the editor

Bringing Home Baby

A Dad's Eye View of Bonding and Interacting with Baby

By Mark Stackpole

I am the first to admit that I was one of those cheesy dads-to-be who sang to the belly, talked to the belly, rubbed the belly, told jokes to the belly and (gently) poked the belly button as if it were the doorbell to the uterus. For each of my wife's three pregnancies, the pattern was exactly the same. Neither my jokes nor my singing improved over time, and I did not think that it was coincidental that each of the babies-to-be would kick violently during my renditions of my favorite numbers: Frank Sinatra singing "Always" and Johnny Cash's "I Walk the Line." I believe now that this was fetus-talk for "Please, oh please, make it stop." At least it confirmed that my efforts at bonding meant something; one of the first things that they would ever learn was that Daddy was there.

Moments after their respective births, I found out that they didn't think Dad's voice was all that bad. While getting measured, poked, prodded and swaddled, I placed my hand on their chests and spoke very gently into their ears, whispering about how happy I was to see them and how much I loved them. I was very pleased and a little bit amazed that they calmed down almost immediately. Maybe I am flattering myself, but I felt like I had made a difference. They knew me, they liked me and our bonding process had finally been taken out of the belly and into the rest of their lives.

Interacting with a baby can be an intimidating endeavor; it sometimes feels like making small talk with a person you don't know all that well. Which, if you think about it, is exactly what it is. A sample conversation might go something like this:

"Hey, bud," I open wittily. "How ya doin' today?"

Want to see more?

• Check out our Article Library.
• Bonding from the Beginning: Use Baby's Senses to Create That Special Connection
• Home Is Where the Hearts Are: A Dad's Eye View of Bringing Baby Home for the First Time
• An Easy Labor? A Dad's Eye View of Labor and the Birthing Process
• Talk about it!