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P Is for Pregnancy
Pregnancy by the Letters
By I.J. Schecter
A is for absentmindedness. Maybe you believe in "pregnancy brain" and maybe you don't. All I know is that my wife – who has a Ph.D. – tends to become about a zillion percent more scatterbrained when she's with child. Apart from when glasses slip out of her grasp, which they tend to do with alarming frequency, it's a mostly harmless phenomenon. It's even a bit entertaining when she trails off mid-sentence and forgets that she was actually talking. My point is, if you feel that your mind isn't exactly firing on all cylinders while you're pregnant, try not to feel bad about it. It happens to everyone. Plus, it's pretty cute.
N is for nether regions. In the best-case scenario, your pregnancy will be easy, your delivery will be a breeze and your baby will be a perfectly cooperative angel. Of course, the best-case scenario doesn't always happen, and your delivery in particular might leave you, shall we say, a mite sore down south. In the first place, that area has, um, expanded a lot more than it's accustomed to doing. In the second place, though few people consider giving birth a form of surgery, it is, and one's body doesn't bounce up off the operating table ready to run a marathon after surgery. Finally, small tears and rips can happen (sorry), and that can make for serious discomfort in the days, or even weeks, following the magical moment of birth. The good news – aren't you happy there's always good news? – is that there are lots of products available today to help you through the recovery period, from simple creams to big rubber doughnuts.
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