Conventional wisdom has long held that a couple should not even consider that they may be having a fertility problem until they've had unprotected sex for at least a year. It's a "one-size-fits-all" approach that definitely doesn't fit all. Every woman is different, so every woman's cycle should be different as well.

Part of the problem is the long-held belief that a woman is most fertile on Day 14 of her cycle. The fact is that not only are different women fertile on different days, but the same woman can be fertile on completely different days every month. A growing movement to convince mainstream medicine to recognize this and to help couples work within the fertile cycles rather than manipulating those cycles may just be the best first approach to diagnosing infertility.

Even in our modern society, women don't really have much more than a vague overview of the wonderfully complex system that makes up the female reproductive cycle. That's something that Toni Weschler is trying to change. Weschler is the author of Taking Charge of Your Fertility (Perennial, 1995), and she says that there are a couple of problems with the wait-and-see approach to fertility.

For one thing, valuable time is being wasted. For another, the doctor may start right in on expensive and unnecessary tests even though all that's needed is a closer look at timing. "There are a number of variables that affect conception," Weschler says. "Not only does waiting a full year waste valuable time in the reproductive life, but it causes a lot of stress every month if you're just haphazardly trying to get pregnant. It's much better to pinpoint when you are most fertile every cycle and have intercourse at that time."

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