Fertility treatments can be a time-consuming maze of to-do lists:

• Do take your temperature at a certain time.
• Don't let your husband wear briefs.
• Do eat well to prepare your body for pregnancy.
• Don't forget your many doctors' appointments.
• Don't forget to have sex when you're supposed to.

Don't forget to have sex? You know you have a problem when your sexual experience becomes another item on your daily directory. Tamra Orr, mother of four from Gresham, Ore., remembers all too well what that was like. When she was undergoing fertility treatments a number of years ago, sex became another item to check off on her to-do list. "Sex started feeling like a chore," she says. "We paid more attention to the calendar than our libidos. It was difficult and very regimented. I mean, having sex fairly often was nice, but spontaneity was completely lost."

Like many people trying to get pregnant, sex became a means to an end rather than an expression of how the Orrs felt about one another. Andrea Braverman, Ph.D., director of psychological and complementary care for Reproductive Medical Associates in New Jersey, believes this is a very common problem for couples trying to conceive. "It is quite common for couples to report that they are having difficulties while going through infertility," she says. "For many, sexual intimacy is replaced with sex for procreation. Timed intercourse, reporting on intercourse frequency and intercourse as a chore rather than pleasure contribute to these difficulties."

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