"From my perspective in watching that show Jon is so much more hands-on than my husband was," says Harrigan. "He did more than any dad of multiples I've ever seen. I don't think Kate really appreciated him enough and how good he was with the kids."

Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, a psychologist and licensed clinical social worker in Florida, Massachusetts and Maryland, says having a strict schedule is important when children are young, particularly in the case of multiples. However, she notes, there's a big difference between being a good manager and being a drill sergeant.

"Drill sergeants tend to say don't do this, don't do that," says Dr. Wish. "Managers say let's do this, let's try that. A good manager is a role model, a coach and a guide, and is flexible enough to allow for some wildcard behavior. There are two extremes in parenting – being regimented and strict on one end, and letting them grow like weeds on the other. When parents have different styles of parenting, you need to be flexible and include your partner's point of view."

In the case of Jon and Kate, says Dr. Wish, they had wildly different parenting styles, but poor communication. Kate, in her role of manager, wasn't flexible enough and the result was that Jon felt left out, lonely and undervalued. Kate, feeling her efforts weren't appreciated either, felt resentful, martyred and undervalued as well. She began to react to Jon as if he were just another child she had to parent.

"They are each looking at the situation from their vantage point and he says to himself, 'I don't have a say, I'm not valued,' and she's saying to herself, 'I have to do everything and he doesn't appreciate it,'" says Dr. Wish. "Kate was the enforcer, she made all the rules, and Jon felt left out. Not that that makes Kate the bad guy; it just shows parents have to try to come together and meet in the middle when they have differing parenting styles."

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