What's in a Baby Name?

Is there anything more exciting and more terrifying than picking a name for your baby? Just think of the importance of that one seemingly small decision. You slap the right moniker on your offspring and people hear your boy's name and instantly think of success or brute strength. They hear your girl's name and are reminded of the scent of roses or a soft melody.

 Burden a child with the wrong label and he'll forever hear his name shouted across the playground in those little sing-song voices that kids have when they are being truly ruthless.

It's amazing that, given the life-long impact of such a decision, we don't have a more scientific process for choosing children's names. Well, some families do, I guess. Cyril Kennedy II will spawn Cyril Kennedy III. That's easy. But that's really math, not science. For the rest of you left with the daunting task of naming your baby, here's a checklist to help you weed out the losers.

Start with your big baby name book. Then go through with a big felt marker and cross out:

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