Our story seems like it started a lifetime ago. After getting married kind of late at 35 years old and having maternal feelings kick into high gear, getting pregnant was the next logical step. It seems I spent my whole life trying not to get pregnant – first college, the first job, then the entry into the corporate world, but I was ready to be a mom.

We began planning our family and immediately got pregnant. Wow that was easy! But the sad news is within eight weeks I miscarried. After two more years of trying, I resigned myself to the fact that we needed to go the fertility treatment route. It took 18 more months but we finally became pregnant.

With excitement, we went in for a routine checkup only to find out that this baby was not meant to be. The pregnancy was not "viable," because my hormone levels were not adequately multiplying. The doctor injected a drug known as methatrexate into my system to self-abort and to reduce the chances of my needing another D&C. The drug didn't work, and another dose was administered.

I was concerned because I never did feel right after that but attributed it to the emotional roller coaster of losing this baby, too. During my next checkup the doctor discovered a tiny but strong heartbeat. No one knew how but this baby survived all of this! The little trooper was holding onto life. But because methatraxate is a drug given to treat uterine cancer patients, it causes severe birth defects. Although our hearts did not want to give up, we reluctantly scheduled a D&C and our little one left this world.

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