728x90
Pregnancy After Infertility or Loss

Mourning the Loss of a Multiple

Gone But Not Forgotten

0 Comments

Jean Kollantai was thrilled to find out she was expecting twins. Throughout her pregnancy, she dreamed of pushing a double stroller and snuggling two babies in her arms. Then the unthinkable happened. Three days before their due date, one of her twins died suddenly in utero.

A Complex Grieving Process
The loss of a child is every parent's worst nightmare – and grieving a child is always a complicated and painful process. However, when the child was a twin, triplet or higher multiple, the grief process becomes even more complicated.

"When the parent is feeling happy and enjoying her surviving child, she feels guilty for not grieving."

"It is a horrendous loss," says Kollantai, who is the founder and director of the Center for Loss in Multiple Birth, headquartered in Anchorage, Alaska. "Parents expecting twins get so attached to both babies and to the idea of having twins. When one dies, reality becomes much different than what [they] expected."

In our society, multiples are given special status. "Parents feel special when they are expecting multiples," says Barbara Douglass, chaplain of Women's Services at Northside Hospital in Atlanta, Ga. "To lose one is very devastating." Whether the baby died in utero, was stillborn or died after birth, parents feel deprived – not only of the child they lost, but also of the opportunity to raise twins, triplets or more.


pages: 1 2 3 4
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT...

Mourning the Loss of a Multiple

Post as:
Comment Text:
 
CAPTCHA:
Please note that any comments submitted become the property of Disney Family / iParenting and can be edited and posted at our discretion.
 
cancel

There are no comments available for this article yet, be the first to add one!

Content provided on this site is for educational purposes only and should not be construed to be medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Click here for additional information.

Welcome, please join our community!
New guest? Sign up!   Returning guest? Sign in!
This content requires flash player 9. Click here to upgrade your flash player.
award winning baby nursery essentials
300x250
SOUND OFF! VOTE & DISCUSS

What is your biggest pregnancy fear?

  results
AWARD WINNING PRODUCTS
JOIN THE BOOK CLUB

Join the Pregnancy Today Book Club for some great reads. More >

GALLERIES

728x90