I have always thought of myself as being an in control kind of person. I don't even cry at sad movies – in fact until the last trimester of my pregnancy, I couldn't remember the last time I had actually broken down and cried.

All this changed though when I entered the 8th month of my pregnancy. I had just moved from Phoenix to Chicago, was newly married, in a new job, and most of all 50 pounds heavier than my regular weight, and feeling bloated and disgusted with myself. My new job required me to commute for an hour by train, walk six blocks in a new city, lugging a 30-pound laptop – dressed-up in heels and office attire and trying to appear in-control and professional – despite the fact that I felt anything but!

My second week on the job, I somehow made a wrong turn walking downtown, and lost my bearings. While standing on the sidewalk feeling exhausted, confused and panicky, I suddenly got caught in the crowd, and lost my balance. My laptop went in one direction, I went in another, and suddenly I was on one knee, unable to regain my balance.

When I finally stood up, my hose had a big run in the knee, my knee was bleeding and I felt completely humiliated! A woman came from behind (I thought to ask if I was OK). Instead she advised me that I should be more careful bending over, because people could "see everything." I wanted to hit her, but I tersely thanked her and continued walking to my train – seething inside.

Suddenly my cell phone rang. It was my husband, cheerfully telling me that he had left work early, caught the commuter train and was five minutes from downtown. He was going to surprise me and take me somewhere nice for dinner, but decided to call first to make sure I was still at the office. All I really wanted was to go home and crawl under the covers, but his gesture was so sweet, that I put on my cheeriest voice and told him I would meet him at the Starbucks near the station.

I walked into Starbucks, ordered a decaf latte and started sobbing uncontrollably. When my husband walked in, I was still sobbing these desperate sobs and hyper-ventilating like my best friend had just died. Needless to say he was shocked. He had never even seen me cry, and assumed that something horrible had happened. When I told him about my day, and he realized that nothing catastrophic had happened, he shook his head, gave me a hug and then suggested maybe we should just go home and do the romantic dinner thing another time.

There have been a few more days like this since, but this one was memorable because it was my most humbling introduction into the world of maternity.

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