A couple of months after turning 18, I took a 12-hour or more plane ride for the first time to Hawaii. There I married the love of my life. We never had a honeymoon because the wedding was so sudden and my husband had to work. I married a Marine, so I knew what I was getting myself into.

We tried for three months to get pregnant but nothing. Finally, this January it happened. We had given up and were going to try again once he came back from deployment. Once February came around and I missed my period I just knew. I wanted to tell him on Valentine's Day, thinking that would be a great gift, but I wanted proof from a test so he would believe me. After puking and being completely tired we did more than two tests to make sure.

At first he said that he planned it out, thinking when I would ovulate. He was very much supportive through eating right and cravings. But that was it. He didn't and still doesn't know how to handle my mood swings or how to be there emotional and physically.

Today I am 14 weeks and 1 day, and absolutely terrified that he either isn't ready to be a father, or it just hasn't hit him yet. I don't know what to do because he doesn't even act like my husband really anymore and he doesn't really act like he wants our baby.

I'm due October 21, 2009, the third day after my husband's birthday. I want my husband to be there for the birth of our child but he's going to be in Afghanistan.

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