My first son, Daniel, was born 12 weeks early and weighed only 1 pound, 11 ounces. When I first saw him in the neonatal intensive-care nursery, he was paralyzed by drugs, hooked to a respirator, and covered with wires. The doctors and nurses said it would probably be weeks before I could hold him and months before I could nurse him. Since I couldn't "mother" my baby in ways most new mothers do, I found other ways to nurture and protect him – and to help me feel more like his mom.

Aside from making me feel better, the caregiving I did for Daniel also helped him. "One of the most important factors in how well a baby grows and develops is the parents' involvement," says Dr. Jane E. Brazy, a neonatologist at The Center for Perinatal Care at Meriter Hospital in Madison, Wis. "Parents play an important role in their baby's hospital care."

But when your baby is so sick, what can you do? Just being there, letting your baby hear and smell you, and placing your hand on your baby's head are things that comfort both mom and baby, says Dr. Brazy. As your child's health improves, you can do even more. Here are some suggestions:

Create a "nest" for your baby. Your baby, accustomed to the womb's cushioned environment, will feel more secure with boundaries. Place rolled receiving blankets or cloth diapers around your baby's arms, legs and head.

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