Jennifer Massaro of Los Gatos, Calif., wishes she'd joined an online parenting group. Jane Rubinstein of Farmingdale, N.Y., wishes someone had told her it's important to look back and acknowledge progress.

Both moms wish they'd been more prepared for what caught them so off guard: the birth of their children far before their due date. Massaro's son was born at 35 weeks. Rubinstein's daughter was born at 26 weeks and 5 days, weighing only 990 grams.

"I was a high-risk pregnancy, and when you know you're in that situation there are a lot of things you can do beforehand," says Massaro. "For starters, parents need to take a tour of the NICU [neonatal intensive care unit], if possible, and get a handle on its procedure and what it will take to get an infant discharged. Then, take control of your own situation. Learn how the charting is done and what milestones your baby needs to meet before being discharged."

This routine is something Rubinstein knows all too much about. Her daughter's outlook upon her very early birth was dire: bilateral grade III intraventricular hemorrhages, enlarged heart, cerebral palsy and respiratory distress syndrome that became obstructive lung disease. "It's two steps forward, one step back, so always remind yourself to look back at the trend to see the forward movement – whether it's a neonate in the ICU relying less on a respirator or a baby moving from sitting to crawling to walking," says Rubinstein. "It's so much easier to see the progress in hindsight."

It's quality advice such as this that Dr. F. Sessions Cole, the director of the Division of Newborn Medicine at St. Louis Children's Hospital, thinks parents need to hear – especially because a growing number may face this difficulty. "If parents face the possibility of premature birth, they should inform themselves about the challenges their child or children might face," Dr. Cole says.

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