The impending addition of a new baby to your family can be a time of great joy and for some, great disruption, especially to those families with older children. Preparing older children and/or toddlers for the new brother or sister can sometimes be a daunting task to undertake. However, with careful planning and preparation on your part, you and your spouse can mentally and physically prepare the whole family for the arrival of your newest little one.

The right time to inform the children is a cause of debate among many child psychologists. According to Dr. Barbara Mackinaw-Koons, a psychologist at Columbus Children's Hospital Behavioral Health Services in Columbus, Ohio, the right time to tell your child about the new baby will depend on the age of your child.

"For younger children (toddler to preschool age), it may be difficult for them to comprehend what is going on until the mother begins to show physical signs of pregnancy," says Mackinaw-Koons. "In addition, it may make sense to wait until the first trimester is over when many moms feel more confident about the safety of the pregnancy. However, with older children, you may want to tell them earlier so that they do not feel left out of this very important family change."

Richard Yohr, a therapist at the Menninger Clinic in Houston, Texas, believes the opposite. He believes it is important to let children know as soon as the pregnancy is confirmed and parents have a sense that the timing is right. "What has also proved beneficial is to include older siblings in the medical visits and allowing them to see the sonograms and hear the heartbeat," he says.

Bridgette Lurz, a central Florida mother of two daughters, agrees, recalling that when she was seven months pregnant with her second daughter, she and her husband began "preparing Lilly for the new baby. She went to all of my prenatal visits and got to hear Meadow's heartbeat. We would say that 'we are going to have a baby,' instead of 'mommy's having a baby,'" she says.

Your children may feel more involved in the pregnancy if parents make preparations for the new baby's arrival a family event. Although every child's learning capacity is different, Mackinaw-Koons stresses that expecting parents should take advantage of "any advice they get and incorporate that with what they know about their child's coping skills, temperament and cognitive capacity to understand this information."

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