Cliches abound about what it's like to be pregnant these days: Strangers lay hands on your belly without thinking twice, commuters ignore your bulging stomach and swollen ankles in favor of keeping their coveted seats, and everyone you encounter from the post office to the dinner party has a piece of golden advice for you.

I have been thrilled to see these myths and others debunked in my first six months as a pregnant woman. The few people who have placed their hands on my bump in hopes of feeling a kick actually asked my permission first. A young man on a subway in New York City of all places offered to give me his seat, before I had even thought to send him the evil eye.

And people don't really give advice any more, in this era when we are encouraged to allow others room for choice and difference. Every parent I talk to is certainly eager to share information and stories, but it's not OK to come right out and tell people what to do in the mode of traditional advice. In this time of political correctness there is a new indirect flavor to what parents share and how they share it.

I suspect things were different in our own parents' early parenting years. There was only one parenting book on the market (that beloved Dr. Spock), so if you had already read it, it was almost your duty to share the knowledge with the up-and-comers. The rest of parenting lore was handed down in oral tradition, with grandmothers standing watch over the crib to make sure that the baby was swaddled "the right way."

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