Having your own biological child is so important in our society that many people don't understand a couple's decision to adopt after they've had their own children. People can appreciate and even applaud adopting after unsuccessful fertility treatments, but after giving birth to your own baby? Not so much. There are even some adoption agencies who don't work with parents who have already have their own children, preferring to work with couples who are still desperately waiting for a baby, any baby.

There are many reasons why people might want to adopt after giving birth. Victor Groza, a Grace F Brody professor of Parent-Child Studies, has had 25 years of adoption practice and research experience. He has seen many couples with their own children adopt and says they do so for many different reasons.

"The most common reason is secondary infertility," Groza says. "Even couples who may have had an easy time with a first pregnancy can find problems with conceiving a second time. However, there are also some singles and couples who make a humanitarian decision to adopt. Sometimes they are part of a faith community and feel led or called to adopt, particularly children who are at-risk and/or come from a developing country. There are some not part of a faith community but who see it as part of a social conscious/social justice. They see and read about many children without a family and decide that after having one biological child, they want to adopt and serve humanity."

According to Groza, there are also some women who do not want a repeat performance of the birthing experience. It might be that the pregnancy was very traumatic and they choose not to do it again or they might have an active career and professional life and the timing may not be right for them.

Chuck Tanowitz and his wife decided to adopt a child after having two sons of their own. "We did struggle with how to prepare our sons for both the trip to China and for the prospect of adopting a sister," says Tanowitz, who is from Newton, Mass. "For the older son, who already had a younger brother and was 6 at the time, this was pretty simple. For the then 3-year-old it proved a little more difficult."

The Tanowitz's initial challenge was to prepare him the same as they would if he were having a biological sibling. They made the decision to take both of the children to China with them to pick up their sister. They wanted their children to be a part of the adoption.

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