Preparing for Your Second Child

Becoming a new parent is a roller coaster ride. There are the extreme highs of loving another human being so completely, followed by the tremendous lows of wondering if sleep is something only childless couples have. It's something we all go through when we have our first child. And having a second child also brings a range of emotions and tests our skills – but in different ways.

Many new stress factors present themselves during the second pregnancy. Besides the delicate task of preparing your first child for the arrival of the new baby, there are ways in which parents must prepare as well.

Some moms feel their first birth experience could have been easier, or perhaps they have forgotten most of it and feel anxious about it. If this is how you feel, talking to your OB or midwife about what you want this next birth to be like will help. Make a birth plan with your partner and take a refresher childbirth class. Read about advances in birthing and talk to new moms about their experiences. In other words, if your birth experience with your first child was not ideal, evaluate what circumstances you might be able to change for this birth.

The same advice holds true for your breastfeeding experiences. It is extremely common for a mother to only nurse her first child for a short period, or not at all. Most moms agree that it was a lack of support or breastfeeding knowledge that led to a short relationship. Attend La Leche League meetings or talk with other nursing moms about common problems and issues in breastfeeding. Find out how your partner feels and learn about the incredible benefits of breast milk together.

With an older child to care for (which means more dishes, laundry, cleaning and other chores a child helps create) it is important to try to relax and enjoy your pregnancy. Think of how focused you were on your pregnant body when you were carrying your first child. Try to capture that feeling again; every pregnancy is different. Have photos taken while your belly is predominant and pamper yourself by indulging in cravings and getting extra sleep. Let people spoil you, and most of all, explore feelings you have about becoming a mother again.

Most people think a "new parent" is someone who just had their first child. But you become a new parent again when you have a second child. You are no longer the mommy of one child; you are the mommy of children. This time around, you probably have more restrictions on time, money and energy. You may also be concerned about fostering a relationship between your children.

Another feeling to explore is the one of loving your new baby. Many parents feel that they can't possibly love another child the way they love their first. Or they worry about bonding issues. This is very common and should be explored. It is normal to have different feelings about your different children. Love is not a commodity that has to be divided.

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