 | Diary Navigation:
|
Introduction
Week 17
Prepare yourself, I'm in one of those all over the place moods.
I got me a hot dog. I never eat them and for a week I wanted one very badly. It was good but it came out as fast as it went in and it'll be a hundred years before I try THAT again. I've turned into a termite. Now that the end of nausea is drawing near, I eat everything in my path. The other day I was cutting through a food court at the shopping mall and I passed beautiful french fries on someone's tray and I nearly stole some and kept walking. This week I also discovered - hang on while I check the spelling - Szechuan food. Because of my upbringing, I've never in my life tried it (anything spicier than pepper makes me nervous) and now all I'm doing is networking people who'll eat it with me. I won't be short of lunch dates or restaurants, Szechuan lovers seem to have their own little cult going. Peanut butter dumplings, peanut butter dumplings, peanut butter dumplings.
This week I hooked up with a perfect parent, mother of the perfect child and all I could think of the whole time I listened was do I sound like that??? While she was telling me how smart hers was, I wanted to go nose to nose and tell her how much more clever mine is. It was the first time I felt that competitive, powerful need to stand up for my boy and show her. I wanted to remind her some of our kids will walk or talk faster, some will potty train or kick the bottle faster but ultimately when they hit school, they'll all be somewhere near the same level. Or they'll always excel in some ways. Look at us when we're all grown up! I'm proud of my friends who have exciting careers and I now realize the most perfect ones aren't really perfect. While some are compassionate, organized, enthusiastic and a blast to be with, they have some bossy, pessimistic and stressful tenancies and you know what? I love and accept the package. So while I listened, I stayed quiet and told her how great it all was. Our child is brilliant and strong and so is hers. I can't wait till we have a new baby to really bring that concept home. Because the new one will be a genius too, a different genius. And if that perfect parent is still mother to the only perfect children? I'll smack her. How's that!!!!
On a very sad note, a friend of a friend, after a pregnancy from hell (am I allowed to use that language?) suffered the most devastating, heart wrenching, cruel ending. She was scheduled for an induction at the end of her term in her last chance at pregnancy (she was diagnosed with liver cirrhosis). Her induction was bumped a few more days but before that could happen she had placenta abruption. Her beautiful, healthy little boy never made it. It's so unfair. And tragic. I went home that day and hugged the air out of my family, for me, for them and for the miracle of life. A very big lesson I learned from my own experience with Matthew, one that I'd like to share with you, is how to react to another's crisis. Call, call, call. I never knew what to say so I'd opt to wait till I saw the person again. But now? I'm telling you, take the bull by the horns, reach out. Maybe they won't be ready to talk but at least they'll know you care. They may not know what to say any more than you do, but they're heartbroken and as surrounded as they may be, they feel alone. So many people avoided me, and I understand their reasons but I will always hold a special place in my heart for those who reached out to me.
I've tried to lay low about my own ‘there's no heartbeat' fears, but this week it came back with a vengeance. Because of this woman's loss, I wanted to find every piece of information the Internet holds for her, and in my research I read story after story that scared the living crap out of me. Life was so much better before I was so smart. Then a) I watched a show on preemie babies, b) I slept one night on my stomach, c) I drank milk without a violently ill reaction d) I have no fetal movement (I've always felt early), and e) I can't really feel a uterus, my stomach is more mushy. Everyone keeps telling me to knock it off, it's out of my hands anyways and I'm making myself AND THEM crazy for nothing. I know they're right but it's still a huge preoccupation. I've got a list going for when it's my turn to go, there's a few matters I need to discuss with the BIG GUY upstairs. Diseases, that's a priority. Teething, he could of made teeth that grow with us so our babies don't have to suffer and pregnancies could have been a hell (there's that word again) of a lot shorter. But that's just me.
I want to end on an up, so here's a tip on life from a very on top of things little girl;
"If you want a cat, start off asking for a horse"
Till next time,
Allisun
 |  |
|
want to keep a diary on iParenting?
Authoring a diary on the iParenting network allows you to chronicle your family's story, preserving it for years to come. It's also a great way to get the most out of the iParenting community. Click here to start...
|
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families. 
