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Amanda's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 11/4/01 -------------------- 7/10/01 6/18/01 5/21/01 4/5/01 3/24/01 3/19/01 2/14/01 1/19/01 1/2/01 12/12/00 11/28/00 -------------------- Amanda's Introduction

Introduction

“Think I’m gonna have a son. He will be like she and me as free as a dove, conceived in love, the sun is gonna shine above.”

IT’S A BOY!!! As I’m sure you’ve already gathered. I was so nervous before the sonogram. Heart racing, sweaty palms, nervous laughter, as I tried to keep firm control over my scattered brain that kept sneaking in its secret desires of gender preference. You know the commercials where there’s an angel and a devil perched on the person’s shoulder? Well, that was me. The devil, “You know you’re hoping it’s a girl, go on admit it. You hope it’s a lovely flower of a girl that you can dress in frilly dresses and bows. No one is listening right now, just admit it.” Then the angel would pipe in; “You should not care one way or the other as long as you are carrying a healthy baby. You did not get pregnant again to have a girl or a boy; you got pregnant to have another baby. Now you just stop this silly nonsense and keep your focus on what’s important.”

I felt like a regular schizophrenic by the time the sonographer took us into the examination room. It’s kind of funny though, because she did her exam portion first before the fun part and I became so sure that it was a boy. I was absolutely positive. Then the sonographer confirmed it. She said, “I’m 100 percent sure and I won’t change my mind that it’s a boy!” Paul was so thrilled. You could visibly see his chest puff out about six inches. I couldn’t help but feel proud, like I had personally accomplished something, although I know it was his swimmers that did the trick.

After we watched our baby boy kick and wave and squirm for several more minutes, I began to start prepping myself to absorb the fact that I am going to be the mother of two boys. It was kind of overwhelming at first. The thought of raising two boys with the goal of ending up with two responsible, loving, gentle (but not too gentle) men that can contribute something positive to society is quite a daunting task. I mean there are a lot of jerks out there, and now I have to make sure that my precious boys aren’t two of the walking stereotypes that we women take jabs at all the time for a good laugh. Someone please reassure me that it will be OK before I start to hyperventilate.

There I go on a tangent again, hurling myself into what-if situations -- let me pull myself back into the present where I am still merely the mommy of two very tiny boys, not two grown men. Speaking of tiny little boys, you should have seen Ethan’s precious face when we told him that he is going to have a little brother. He positively glowed, and I could be mistaken but I swear his chest puffed out about six inches too. I showed him the pictures from the sonogram and I really think he seemed to understand what he was looking at. I explained it to him by comparing it to X-rays he’s had done in the past. Then when we got home I popped in the video. I think he was expecting a full-length, animated, motion picture with bright colors and sound effects. He seemed a bit disappointed with the wriggly, fuzzy black and white image on the screen. When I asked him what he thought of his baby brother, he informed me that he looked like a turkey! We’ve had quite a few laughs over our little turkey. I told Paul it is kind of like a little turkey; when my belly button pops up like a Butterball he’ll know I’m done!

Now that I’ve bored you with every detail involved with my sonogram, let me move onto my next boring topic, the visit to the neurologist. I hate to bother you with my medical stuff, but I feel like I should record it for posterity’s sake just in case anyone should be going through something similar. The neurologist seems to think that there is a certain valve in my lower heart that is weak. Under normal blood volume (5 liters) it does fine, but in an altered physiological state (that’s what he calls pregnancy, nice huh?) it’s having trouble keeping up with the increased volume (about 8 and a half liters) and is causing me to have dizzy/black-out spells. Well, he used a fancier name for my spells but don’t even ask me to try to spell it. Basically he thinks that this condition will only manifest itself when I am pregnant and will not be harmful to the baby (thank God). I asked why I didn’t feel this way when pregnant with Ethan, and he said that a lot could change health-wise in four years. He’s still going to do a billion tests though. I go for a CG, EEG, and echocardiogram on Wednesday. Hopefully it’s what he thinks it is and not anything more serious.

So, how has your week been? Are you feeling the Christmas crunch as you scramble to get all the presents wrapped, the baking done, and still take time for you? I know I am. To all of you that stopped by to visit my board, I loved hearing from you. For all those who haven’t stopped in to say Hi, I would love to hear from you.

Since my next entry won’t be posted until after Christmas, I wish you and your families a warm, wonderful holiday filled with family, fellowship, and love. For those of you carrying a new life, I hope you will take a few minutes to sit by the Christmas tree with some hot cocoa and cookies and relish what next Christmas will be like with your new little one curled sweetly in you arms. I know I will. For those of you on the journey to conceive, I hope you will take a moment to dream of the wonderful possibilities the coming year may bring.

Sending loving thoughts and warm wishes your way, Amanda and Darling Baby Boy (otherwise known to Ethan as Turkey)