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February 7, 2004
Week 38: Diaper Obsession Begins and the Home Visit
Diapers, Diapers, Diapers
Immediately after the baby shower with Dan’s family, I went to Peapods to buy the remaining essentials from our registry. Hitting 37 weeks and owning under a dozen diapers did not seem like a good place to be. I bought two dozen unbleached cloth prefolds (diaper service quality), some diaper pins, and an extra pair of snappis. I then circled around town stopping at all the natural food stores trying to find a particular brand of detergent that I’d seen recommended (Allen’s Naturally) that I’d be able to use both with diapers and covers. I’m willing to use one detergent for our clothes and another for our diapers, but I’d really rather avoid having to wash each diaper brand differently. I ended up special ordering the detergent at one store, but they couldn’t guarantee that their distributor carried it.
When I got home, I immediately went to the WAHM diaper sites I’d heard the best things about and bought another five fitted diapers and a couple dozen wipes. Since Kissaluvs diapers cost between $10 and $11.50 and I can get them without shipping and 20% off thanks to coupons, I tried to find diapers cheaper than that so I could justify not just getting more Kissaluvs. I ended up buying four hemp quick-dry diapers from SugarPlumBaby for $30 with shipping, including two custom-made ones, and one from BizzyBHive for $9 and free shipping. Hopefully, having a bit more variety in styles now will help me determine what works best for our baby when it’s time to buy the next size up. The wipes I bought were a variety of materials, too—some just flannel, others flannel and velour, some hemp, and the rest were cotton terry—around 40 total, including those I received as gifts.
My plan was to pre-wash all the diapers I already had that weekend, then wash the ones I ordered once they’d all arrived. Even though pre-washing doesn’t require soap, I became paranoid that I’d wreck them. I read all washing instructions on the company websites and went to a number of diapering boards looking for advice but was still scared silly as I put my prefolds into the washing machine on hot. I’d never used the hot setting before—my brain tells me that’s the “destroy your clothes” setting. But, like magic, half an hour later, those flat pieces of cotton had begun fluffing up. Cool! With slightly more confidence, I put the seven fitted Kissaluvs, two LittleLambs all-in-ones, and my eight covers in the wash after switching the prefolds to the dryer. I spent most of the day going back and forth to the laundry, putting the prefolds through three washes and dryer cycles and the fitteds, AIO’s, and covers through two. I was most concerned that I was destroying the covers (all PUL) since I’d thought they should usually be hung dry. After multiple MSN conversations with (Moms Today’s) Jeanette, she convinced me that putting PUL through a couple dryer cycles would close the sewing holes, not leave me with a plastic mess.
I can see how a disposable diaperer would read this and think that I must be completely mad to get all stressed out and spend so much time figuring out which diapers to get and how to take care of them, but I really enjoyed it. My main reasons for cloth diapering are that in the long run, it’s cheaper and because they’re so much softer and cuter than ‘sposies. The environmental benefits are nice, but they aren’t my primary motivation. Since I received the vast majority of the clothes and gizmos that I need for the baby as gifts (mostly my mom’s garage sale finds), diapers are the only major item I need to acquire, which makes me feel more justified in not necessarily taking the cheapest approach—which would be buying only prefolds and Prorap covers. Also, I like the idea of having fitted diapers to use in the first weeks at 3a.m. when we’re exhausted and can’t fully open our eyes since they’re less complicated. If we decide we like prefolds the best, then I can focus on finding good covers once the baby outgrows the newborn size a few months down the road. We’re also hoping to use these on multiple children, so we will only be paying the cost of washing them next time around.
EBay Newbie
Unlike the rest of the western world, I’d never bought or sold anything on EBay before this week. Dan and I are planning to co-sleep with the baby, but he’s been a bit concerned with the mechanics of how it will work, exactly. I’d heard about something called a Snuggle Nest—essentially a mini-bed with partial walls on three sides that can be placed between the parents’ pillows to adjust to co-sleeping. It’s pretty small, and therefore can only be used for the first month or so, but that’s all we need to become accustomed to having the baby there with us. These gizmos run $50 at BRU, so it seemed like it would be worth looking for on EBay. As expected, there were a number of nearly new ones going for $20-$30. I found one auction ending that day with a seller living nearby. I sent him an email asking whether I could pick it up and avoid shipping charges. I hadn’t heard back for a couple hours and decided to bid anyway. The price went up from $20 to $26, but I won it, at less than my maximum bid! Very exciting stuff =) It turned out that the seller lives out in the boonies, and with the constant snow we’d been getting, we agreed that if he discounted the shipping price by $4, we’d both be satisfied. Three days later, the Snuggle Nest arrived, a tiny bit faded (as indicated) but otherwise perfect. I am now the proud owner of one positive feedback rating =)
What originally brought me to EBay was actually a set of Baby Einstein DVD’s that my aunt generously gave us at the shower. Dan and I are hoping to avoid TV entirely for the baby’s first couple years, and a set of twelve DVD’s doesn’t mesh too well with that plan. We were given a couple of the movies already, so if we change our minds about having the baby watch TV, those two will probably be sufficient. I don’t think we even own twelve DVD’s of our own. Of course these DVD’s didn’t come with a gift receipt, and my aunt is the sort of person who would be very hurt but wouldn’t say so to our faces if we asked if we could exchange them. The DVD’s are probably sold at both BRU and Target, but I’m not sure how strict their return policies are, especially without a receipt. They retail for $120, and brand new sets like ours are selling for about $125 on EBay. I suppose we could buy a fancy new Pack n Play at BRU for that money, or get 2/3 of a car seat. But the most useful thing would be to sell them on EBay, keep the money in my PayPal account, and use it to buy a dozen diapers in the next size up. So far, I’ve been too big a chicken to list them, and Dan isn’t convinced that we shouldn’t just come clean to my aunt.
Home Visit
On Tuesday over lunchtime, the midwives came to our house for our home visit. I’d been hoping for weeks that the kitchen would be done by then, but no such luck. We stayed in our bedroom and closed the door while the installer was downstairs putting in the sink. We had Dan’s sister Kara come too because she’ll probably be involved with the birth in some capacity.
We spent the first forty-five minutes sitting around talking. Dan showed them our birth supplies, which he’d arranged in the Pack n Play. We discussed the timing for when we should call them during labor and what all they will do once they arrive. For the most part, they’ll let us be on our own, checking the baby’s heart rate every hour at first, and then more frequently as I near delivery. Although they have only used a fetoscope during prenatals, they have a doptone to use depending on whether I’m under water or in a position where access using the fetoscope is difficult. They won’t do any internals unless they have a particular concern about something. We talked about our plans for the postpartum time and how we’ll deal with guests. Their suggestion was for no one to come for more than fifteen minutes. Something we hadn’t considered was that they said that immediately after the birth, we’ll all be alert and energized and it might be good if people come see us then instead of waiting until the endorphins die down. If we wait until we spend an hour or two bonding, then have a bunch of people come all at once, then leave us alone for a day or more while we begin to recuperate, they said it would be better than having a stream of people come during the first day or two. Depending on the time of day and how we’re feeling, we might take that approach. All our families live within twenty minutes and would be on the road in a flash if we gave them the okay.
We then moved onto the bed and did the usual palpating and vital-checking. Overnight the baby had moved back to my right side after being on the left for a week—silly kid. That meant that the official position was ROT, which made the heart rate difficult to hear since the placenta was in the way. They determined the rate to be 144-156, which is the highest measurement of the pregnancy. My blood pressure was 94/60, and the fundus was 36.5 cm. We don’t have a scale in our house, so no weight measurement this time. Still no noticeable swelling.
Around then, Jeanne left, and Kim asked again whether I wanted the internal. At this point, my curiosity about what it would tell me was enough to go for it. As I expected, it was somewhat uncomfortable, but not horrible—not unlike a pap smear. Kim explained everything as she went. She described my cervix as “very squishy—around 80% effaced and a fingertip dilated”. I was expecting nothing in the effacement/dilation department, so that sounded like plenty of progress to me. She felt a variety of other measurements too, determining that the baby was still high enough to be floating around, and that my cervix was facing forward—she said that was a necessary condition before going into labor, but didn’t mean the baby would come immediately. I think the fact that my uterus was tilted forward pre-pregnancy may have influenced that measurement, too. She felt my tailbone (a very strange sensation from inside out) and the distance between some bones. Apparently there is plenty of room in there, which sounds good to me, but wasn’t too big a surprise because my wide hips have to be good for something!
After the internal, Kim showed Kara and I the contents of her birth bag while Dan helped the installer man with the sink, I think. She keeps a shoebox sized box of essential items in case the mom decides to deliver in a cramped space, as often occurs. In it, she had a variety of sterilized scissors, a bunch of gauze pads, and these tiny ampules of Pitocin. It was pretty amusing to see these little things when I’m used to hearing about I.V. bags full of the stuff. If I’m hemorrhaging, she’ll give me a shot of Pit in the butt after trying some herbal remedies. Many of her supplies are ones we bought—she’ll use the ones she has, then replenish hers with what we purchased. She also has a fish scale for weighing the baby and a number of other odds and ends. She explained how they’ll use the herbs we bought and boil them, wrap them in cheesecloth, then freeze them to make “herb burritos” instead of standard ice packs. They’ll also use some to hold against me as I’m pushing to reduce the risk of tearing.
After Kim left, we talked to Kara about what she wanted her role in the labor to be. We eventually decided that we’ll call her sometime in early labor before the midwives come. She’ll do all the contact with the outside world, calling our parents to keep them informed with how things are going, and answering the phone or the door as need be. She’ll get things for Dan or the midwives or I as necessary and be able to run errands. That will allow Dan to focus entirely on me if I want him there. We might have Kara in the room for the delivery itself, or maybe not; we didn’t promise her anything. She’s a nursing student hoping to be a certified nurse midwife herself one day, and now that she’s seen a number of hospital births firsthand, we know that she won’t be weirded out by the birth and is more comfortable with the concept of homebirth than my mother is. Maybe for future births, I’ll want my mom there to experience how natural homebirth is, but I’ll wait until I have a better idea of what to expect myself. I actually think my MIL would be perfectly comfortable being there for a homebirth—she even told Dan recently that she was jealous that we had this opportunity—but it wouldn’t be fair to my mom for my MIL to be there and not her. I also don’t think I’ll want many people around. Our house isn’t big enough for a bunch of people to stay out of the way, and this time of year, going outside isn’t an option.
Meeting the Back-Up Doctor
Wednesday morning, we had an 8:15 appointment with the back-up doc. We got to the clinic at 8 and were the first people in the waiting room. I filled out a bunch of forms and then we waited. And waited. The clinic’s primary purpose is to provide care for Spanish-speaking people who don’t necessarily have insurance. They’ve won awards for reaching out to the community. I believe 75% of their clients aren’t insured. During the hour we sat in the waiting room, I don’t think I heard anyone speak English. The clerks were all bilingual and were happy to speak English to us, but no one else did. It was interesting to experience being a cultural minority for awhile.
At 9a.m., my name was finally called. I was weighed (up 3 more pounds, for a total of 38) and led into an exam room. Since I’m obviously quite pregnant, the nurse asked what the purpose of my visit was. I was a bit stumped for what to say—I wasn’t sure how open I should be about my homebirth plans. I mumbled something and Dan told her that Dr. B would be our back up doctor, that we were being seen by a pair of midwives. The nurse took this in stride and left us to wait some more. I flipped through most of an American Baby magazine before Dr. B joined us.
Dan’s first reaction to seeing her was the thought that either doctors are getting younger, or we’re getting older =) (She’s probably about 30.) She asked us who our midwives are and mentioned how much she likes them. When she said that there was only one problem with her being our back up, I got nervous. It turns out that she will be on vacation from February 6-21st, so if I have the baby between 38 and 40 weeks and need to transfer, I’ll end up with someone fairly random that she can’t necessarily vouch for. I won’t have to deal with a random resident or anything, but her usual back up is going through a difficult family situation. My primary concern is if I go two weeks postdates and can’t legally be seen by the midwives anymore, and since she’ll be back in town then, we should be fine. Dr. B has privileges at a number of local hospitals, but she recommended one in particular. She said that they have telemetry units so I could have an I.V. and still wander through the halls. Also, their nurses are happy to recommend moving around and changing positions, unlike other hospitals where they might put up with things like that but wouldn’t suggest them. One recent mom apparently pushed the bed out of the way and spread out on pillows she’d brought and the hospital staff hadn’t minded. They also have big tubs there—I think it’s possible to birth in them, and not just labor, but I’m not certain. We discussed the various induction methods, since if I go to 42 weeks and transfer to the hospital, we’d probably be dealing with induction. She talked about Cytotec, Cervadil, and gels. We’d want to stay away from Cytotec after reading too many horror stories about it, but the other two would both be possible. The doctor sounded wonderful—she’d say things like “this method is great, if you have to be in a hospital” that made us very comfortable with her. She wasn’t the slightest bit judgmental about our planning a homebirth. When we left, she wished us well and said that she hoped we wouldn’t be seeing her again. It was 9:40 as we walked out—we’d probably spent 25 minutes with the doctor and never felt like she was rushing us. The midwives had warned us that having an early appointment would save us a lot of waiting. I wonder how much time we would have spent there if the appointment had been at 4pm!
Home, Sweet Job
After a few delays, I was able to begin working from home on Wednesday. The computer was ready Tuesday afternoon, and I had Kara drive me to work so I could burn a CD. She then helped me carry the laptop, some manuals, and a bunch of papers home. After the back up doc appointment Wednesday morning, it was fabulous to be able to set up the laptop in the baby’s room and start working from there. I could have hooked up the computer to the web with a dial-up connection, but that’s too slow to download the files I need, and I knew I’d be better off without the distraction of the Web, so I didn’t bother. A few times a day, I went to our personal computer to check email and browse the Web a bit, but when I went upstairs to work, I was able to get a lot done without my email beeping at me every few minutes. I went into the office on Thursday for a dentist’s appointment and that co-worker’s baby shower, but was able to be home Wednesday and Friday. The freedom to sleep in a bit, have more flexible hours, and not hobble around the skyway and the snow made working so much easier. I’m actually inspired to work harder on my project and not just do whatever I have to to get to the end of the day. I haven’t needed to nap in the evenings nearly as much. I can deal with this for a few more weeks.
End of Pregnancy Tidbits
On Wednesday, I noticed that I was having a lot more Braxton-Hicks contractions then I’d had up until that point. I didn’t count them, but I seemed to be having at least a couple every hour despite being well-rested and drinking plenty of water. They never hurt, and maybe I had that many before but my belly’s just dropped enough that they’re impossible to miss now. At one point, I was driving home and could feel one through my down coat. Ever since that point, they’ve kept up with that high frequency. I’d love it if it turned out that they were “real” contractions and the baby just fell out one day, but I imagine I won’t be so lucky =)
Sometime this week or last, I started hearing the baby. You might think I’m crazy, but by this week, this sound occurred often enough that Dan has heard it. It’s sort of a squishing sound, maybe a click. It happens when the baby makes dramatic movements. My theory is that if the baby moves quickly, he/she causes some sort of vacuum with the pockets of amniotic fluid, and the fluid rushing to a new spot makes the sound. I have no scientific basis for this. Whatever the cause, it’s very intriguing and makes us wonder what the baby is up to.
On Saturday, we went to Goodwill and bought a bunch of towels and a set of white sheets. The plan is to use the sheets to take pregnancy photos that will hopefully look slightly better than if I just stood against the wall. The towels I cut into hand towel and washcloth size to add to our pile of homebirth supplies. Now, we only need a water thermometer and things to make our bathtub more comfortable, and we’ll be set.
And the House
As usual, I’ve got to give my weekly renovation update. As I mentioned above, the installer put in the sink on Tuesday. It wasn’t actually hooked up, but it looked nice sitting in the counter. Tuesday night it snowed for the umpteenth time, so the installer refused to come to the house on Wednesday. Thursday, the installer and a big, strong guy put in the microwave and sort of hooked up the sink—the faucets worked, but it drained to a bucket. That was the last of the installer man’s duties. While I was at work on Thursday, the tiler came and put in the tile backsplash. I wasn’t sure if he would show, but upon arriving home, our porch reeked of cigarette smoke and I was ecstatic since it meant that someone had come to work. On Friday, the electrician came back and hooked up the under-cabinet light over the sink (I had to run to the store because the two I’d bought weren’t quite right—we ended up with a xenon one that shouldn’t need bulbs replaced as long as we live in the house). He put the outlet covers on, switched the microwave plug so it could be turned on, and did a few things with the fuse box. The tiler also returned to put in the grout. At some point in the week, most of the extra junk was taken out of the kitchen and living room, and the guys filled a truck bed with cabinet parts from our backyard. There were plenty still out there, but the way our windows are set up, we can’t see it. Besides, everything’s covered with a foot of snow. If that ever melts, it’ll look a lot worse out there. So, at the end of the week, we had a slightly-functional sink, two working microwaves, a tile backsplash, and a somewhat cleaner kitchen.
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