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February 22, 2004
The Rest of Week 40: Braxton-Hicks and Work Stress
Tuesday: A Birthday and Bookshelves
Tuesdays are our busiest days so I didn’t have much hope of throwing Dan a good birthday celebration. We had a few cake mixes in the house, but no frosting, so I got the idea to make him banana bread instead. Turns out, we didn’t have all the ingredients for banana bread either, and I couldn’t justify going to the store and baking while I was supposed to be working. I settled for signing a birthday card for him from the baby and putting off the bread until Wednesday.
That afternoon, two workers came to the house and assembled the bookshelves. There was a short hang-up when they realized one was eight inches too long, but they had the equipment there to shorten it. Getting the bookshelves up has been the one thing keeping us from truly having the baby’s room ready (or at least removing all the non-baby stuff from it). So I was nearly giddy watching them go up and figuring out how quickly I’d be able to rearrange things to put them into use.
Just as the workers were leaving, my mom showed up to drop off Dan’s birthday present—a new memory card for our digital camera. We used to be able to save 15 photos on its medium-high setting. Now we can save 256 at the highest setting. We made a few jokes about being careful about taking photos so we don’t use up all the memory =)
Mom’s arrival was perfect because she was at least as excited to move our photo albums downstairs as I was, and she insisted upon carrying all the contents of the old bookshelf downstairs and perching herself on a chair to set them up in their new location. Just emptying the shelf wasn’t enough—she managed to carry the 4’x 3’x 18” bookshelf down into the basement without my help. Well, I helped her keep it balanced, but didn’t bear any weight. Going up and down the stairs half a dozen times is enough to wear me out, so we were both fairly tired after 45 minutes of bringing things up and down.
So, we still need to bring the baby toys and books upstairs from the basement, but the living room is now set up the way I envisioned it and the only non-baby things in the second bedroom are the laptop and other things I’m using for work, which can quickly get put away when the baby arrives. Yay!
I went to my church class that night where people were disappointed to see me. Sorry guys, no baby yet.
Wednesday: Are We Getting Somewhere?
Wednesday started like the days before but got interesting as the morning went on. I noticed a BH contraction around 9, then another about 20 minutes later. When I had a third by 9:35, I started wondering if this might be the beginning of labor. The Braxton-Hicks continued every 20 minutes until 10:30, then slowed to 30 minutes apart. I called Jeanne to ask whether I should get my hopes up that these Braxton Hicks might turn into something. She essentially told me not to count on it, but it was a sign that my body was in preparation mode. That's what I figured, but it's always nice to hear the midwives say so. Around noon, I gulped down a whole lot of water and had one more BH at 12:30 before they slowed to their usual 60-90 minute separation for the rest of the day. I poked my belly so many times throughout the day that I was wondering whether the poking might be causing the contractions rather then helping me to notice them.
The contractor showed up that night and had me decide between two trim options. I can't figure out why the standard approach the store expected us to use isn't good enough. I had Dan call both the store and the contractor that morning to try to figure it out because I am beyond the point where I will deal with it. Unfortunately, Dan wasn't home yet when the contractor showed up. It sounded like both options would cost the same and take about the same amount of time, so I told him to go ahead with the approach that used the trim we'd picked out already. It sounded like the other option might require lots of staining, which seemed slower. Forget that. He also pointed out some trim that had been installed on Monday without our realizing it. One of the minions had put oak edging on the sides of the upper cabinets that clearly doesn't match. Umm, why did you do that? We have it along the floor to cover a gap in the linoleum, but it's hardly visible with the cabinet overhang. This side trim is a different story. The contractor agreed to remove it and find better-matching maple. And fill the gouge in the living room hardwood that we'd found. Just do it soon, please.
The contraction excitement of the morning made it even harder than usual to try to get work done that day. I was torn between feeling guilty for not having accomplished more and a complete lack of desire to deal with programming code. I talked with Dan that night about work stuff and realized that it really was stressing me out. I was planning to go into the office the next day anyway, but I knew I needed to clear things up with my boss right away so it wouldn't keep eating away at me.
Thursday: Last Day at the Office
I got up at 7 and criss-crossed through the slush to make the 8 am bus. Picked up my usual medium skim cocoa at the coffee shop and was in the office before 8:30. My boss walked in the door just behind me and came to my desk right away. So much for putting it off. It turned out that she had meetings all morning, but we arranged to meet with another coworker at 11:15 to discuss my project. I managed to get a few kinks worked out before our meeting, but I was pretty nervous. It turns out, I didn't have to get so wound up. My boss didn't expect me to have finished the project and wasn't angry about my progress. The coworker there had written the previous version and is the only other person trained to finish what I started. He and I explained all the steps to my boss, which made it seem more reasonable that after a month, I'm only mostly done with the first of four parts of the project. I told them that I expected to be able to finish the first and second parts by the middle of the next week, and potentially the third part if everything went smoothly and the baby waited until the end of next week. It's only the first step that's very different from what happened last time around. I agreed to add as much commenting as I could so he could pick up wherever I stop and he helped me figure out what was happening in a couple of the complicated sections.
After he left, my boss and I ironed out the logistics of my leaving. Once she heard that my due date is actually this coming weekend, she said she didn't expect me to be back, but I should let her know when I've stopped working so she can pick up the laptop. It's goofy to think that I might not be back in the office until I'm there visiting with the baby. I guess part of me still thinks I'll come back next Wednesday or so to return the laptop myself. My new plan is to work through Wednesday if I'm still sane and functioning because I realized that it's the first day of a new pay period and it would extend my medical benefits for an extra two weeks. I had planned to keep going through Friday the 29th, but now that the pressure to get as much as earthly possible done in the project is lower, Wednesday seems like a more reasonable goal. Anytime Wednesday or later that I finish one of the big steps of the project, I'll quit there unless I'm really gung-ho to continue. I talked to the insurance people too to get details about FMLA and short-term disability. The best news is that if I quit and the baby doesn't come immediately, I get medical leave until the maternity leave kicks in once the baby's born. I think there's still a one week delay in there somewhere, but if I quit Wednesday and the baby waits until the following Monday, I won't have to wait nearly two weeks to get STD pay. I just need the midwives to sign something saying that I'm incapable of working any longer, which they said they'd do a few prenatals back. Now I know I can just work until I feel settled, then stop, which is reassuring.
Everyone who saw me commented on my pregnancy as I walked by. I guess it wasn't that many more than normal, but I hadn't been around for a week, so it seemed more concentrated. Lots of "good lucks" and "enjoy your sleep". Everybody meant well, but after hearing the same thing for the hundredth time, it's harder to smile and thank them. I did it anyway.
I spent part of the afternoon packing up my desk. The office is changing buildings sometime this spring or summer, so even if I was returning, someone would need to pack my things. I made copies of any email I wanted to save, took copies of publications I'd written, and the documentation they gave me when I was hired, in addition to plants, photos, and other personal stuff. It still looks like my cubicle, just more boring now =) Dan came to pick me up and help carry things to the car, and I think he got more sentimental then I did. But it's definitely weird, wondering if this was my last desk job, if I'll ever re-enter the workforce, and knowing that my days will be very different soon.
Friday: Hum drum
On Friday, I was working at home. There wasn't anyone working in the kitchen, I didn't have any unusual contractions. I did a bunch of commenting for my project before taking what has become my usual noon hour nap. Somehow everything makes more sense after curling up in a ball for an hour. I've been getting at least 8 hours of sleep at night and often more, but the days I don't nap for a little while are notably rougher. I'm curious to see how my very-pregnant sleep pattern changes once the baby arrives. All week, I've been waking up at night to pee at least once, and I'm usually having a BH at the time. Towards the end of the week, I've begun waking up twice sometimes. I wonder whether the contractions wake me up, or the need to pee. I know that needing to use the bathroom is one of my first signs that I'm having a BH if I don't notice my hard, round belly =)
The missing skin for our cabinets arrived in the mail that afternoon, which means that the contractor won't have any excuses not to finish the rest of the kitchen early next week. Excellent.
We escaped to my parents' for dinner and video games (at least for Dan--I watched basketball and did some knitting) that night. Once again, we wondered whether it'll be the last time we're there without a baby. My dad has had a nasty cold for two weeks and mom made him wear a face mask whenever he started coughing. I thought it was overkill, but whatever. I realize that getting a bad cold now would suck, but it had been long enough since I'd seen them that I didn't care.
Saturday: Around and Around We Go
I hadn’t heard anything from the plumber, but the optimist in me needed to assume that he’d come at 8:30 like he said. I got up at 8:15, got dressed, and played on the computer until 10. I’m not about to spend another Saturday feeling stuck in the house wondering whether this guy will show, so I dug around and found what I thought was his phone number. Not only was it his number, but he even answered the phone. Turns out he’d left a message on my cell (which wasn’t on) at 9 saying that he was at another job site waiting to get paid, but he’d be over in “a couple hours”. I still didn’t want to start any laundry or anything since he would certainly be turning off the gas when he came and potentially the water, too. I think that’s when I opted for a nap. I figured that I’d give him until 1 pm before calling again. Thankfully, he showed up shortly after 1, so I didn’t need to hunt him down and drag him to our house. We explained a few details and left to run some errands. In the ten minutes we took gathering things, he had already removed our gas pipe and wasn’t panicking about anything, which I took as a good sign.
I’ve been itching to get a few things done before the baby makes it much more difficult, and some of them seemed easier to do with Dan there. First, we hunted down the nearest Bed, Bath, and Beyond store. We didn’t actually know where it was and just guessed based on the address in the Yellow Pages. After circling a bit and finally calling them, we found the place. Dan went diaper pail searching while I found a bath mat and two different bath pillows. He also got another canister so he can make homemade wipes for our baby. We were given a gift card for the store by our realtor and finally made use of it, almost six months later.
On the way out, I noticed a Hanna Andersson outlet store having a clearance sale in the same strip mall. Dan indulged me and let me wander through. Alicia (Mom’s Today) had told me how much she loves their clothes and I wanted to see them for myself. Oh my gosh, I love that place. This is a designer who isn’t afraid of color. Even the baby clothes were red and orange and turquoise. No pastel blues and pinks here. I went very slowly by the rack of dresses—if I knew I was having a girl, I would have bought her Christmas dress right then and there. The clothes are usually painfully expensive, but between the outlet prices and the clearance, the t-shirts were $6-$8 and dresses were about $12. Oh so tempting. I’ll have to remember to tell my aunt, the clothes shopper of the family, to check them out come Christmas.
Our next plan was to go to the Mall of America to replace our old cell phones. It’s the nearest Verizon dealer that we’re aware of, and it was on the way home. Seemed simple enough. Apparently, everyone else in the Twin Cities had the same plan. We knew it was a bad sign when the freeway exit was jammed, and once we entered the parking ramp, it was much worse. We circled every floor, most rows, before finding the only bunch of empty spots on the roof. Yowzers. We were sure it was a special day of some sort at the mall, but apparently, a February day above freezing means “head to the mall! Do not pass go!” to Minnesotans.
We swapped the phones without too much trouble—we’ve finally entered the world of flip-top phones. Dan wanted to eat a late lunch/early dinner, so we wound around to Ruby Tuesday’s. I managed to find a post office store (really, the Mall of America does have everything you could ever need) while we waited for a table so I could buy baby announcement stamps. After eating, Dan let me wander into the scrapbook store and helped me pick out three books—one for the baby, one for my craft projects, and one for the house. I was given a nice baby book for a shower, but so many of the pages have things like “Baby’s First Photo (insert u/s picture here)” and only a page to show shower photos, etc, that making my own just seems more reasonable. I suppose fifteen years from now when the album consists solely of a birth certificate and some pictures thrown between the pages like my sister’s is, I may regret this decision. Oh well. I can always use the one I’ve got if I change my mind. I also bought a bunch of papers to use, but stayed away from stickers and fancy scissors. I know enough people already in the scrapbooking craze that I think I can borrow all the reusable stuff. My creativity is limited to following knitting and quilting patterns, so I’m hoping to trim photos and maybe put colored papers behind them, but that’s it. I think I’ve got colored pens I could write with. I’m also not expecting to work on this until post-baby, which might be a mistake. I know that getting to the store with a baby in tow will be nearly impossible at first, but if I have all the materials already and don’t’ need to leave the house, I’ve got a fighting chance of working on them (let me stay in my dream world, okay?).
After the scrapbook store stint, we (and by that, I mean Dan) was carrying enough stuff that heading for the car was a necessity. We’d walked the mile around the entire mall, plus some side-stepping, and I could feel it. Perhaps it moved the baby down some, maybe not. Couldn’t have hurt, anyway. My feet were sore, but they can recover.
That night, I settled in to watch whatever ABC was showing for their Saturday night movie and didn’t care if I moved for hours. Turns out, they were playing Cast Away, which got too intense for me to deal with. I switched to Shrek and was much calmer. Around 9, I realized that the funkiness I was feeling in my head didn’t go away with the happier TV program, and even looking at the computer made my eyes feel buggy. Seemed like a good time to try out my new bath pillows. After an hour in the tub, my eyes felt better, but my headache hadn’t changed. Enough of that, I know when it’s time to give up and go to bed.
Oh, the plumber did come through. He called us at the mall around 6 to say that he was done. The only problem was that the sink was clogged because of its earlier problems. He didn’t have a snake with him, so he’d told the contractor to come deal with it. He had been able to redo the pipes anyway, so it just needs to be unclogged and we’ll be set. The stove is flush up against the wall, and the cabinet next to it is finally fastened down. He took off the funky trim without trouble and got it very close to the wall, no problem. I was so happy to see that, I hugged the stove and cabinet when we got home. Dan took a picture that I’ll post eventually. As of Sunday night, the sink is still clogged. I think Dan will buy a snake himself if the contractor doesn’t come tomorrow.
Sunday: Happy Due Date to Me
I woke up Sunday (today! I’m caught up!) and felt just as woozy as when I’d gone to bed. Ugh. I took a couple Tylenol and made sure to eat breakfast and have some water before heading to church, but it didn’t get better. I tried my only sure-fire fix and took a three hour nap this afternoon. When I woke up, the headache was gone, but I still felt out of sorts.
We met up with my parents, grandparents, and uncle at a local restaurant to celebrate Dan’s birthday and my grandpa’s (the 23rd). I wasn’t in the mood to socialize, but after I had a couple glasses of Sprite and some chicken tenders, I opened up. Apparently I was starving because I also had a salad, most of my chicken pot pie, and a full slice of coconut cream pie, plus a couple more Sprites and didn’t feel stuffed. Geesh!
Dan wanted another chance to beat a video game at mom and dad’s, so we went over there after dinner. Watching him play was too stressful on me, so I stayed by myself on their porch catching up with my TTM board and other email.
So, How am I Doing?
The eternal question which I am now hearing wherever I go. I feel like I’m hunkering down, preparing to have this baby. Dan managed to tell me in a totally acceptable way (I don’t know how he did it) that I’ve been crankier lately, and I know he’s right. That was probably early Saturday or maybe Friday. Ever since mid-week, little things have been grating at me and I seem to have lower tolerance for irritations. Talking about work made me cry around then. Then yesterday, I felt like going out shopping was a last hurrah. It just seemed like anything I didn’t get done yesterday probably won’t be. I was hoping to get a couple nursing bras and apricot oil, but I’ll have to do that on the way to my prenatal tomorrow. Then the headache and wooziness seemed like further indications that something’s going on that’s beyond my control. My body’s forcing me to relax and to stop dealing with the world. I didn’t write anything or respond to my TTM board for a couple days because I just didn’t want to deal with people. I’m also pretty sure the baby has dropped significantly. I’ll find out tomorrow whether the midwives agree with that, but my belly looks like it’s farther away (yes, I have lost my mind) and things seem different someone. Still doesn’t feel like I’m sitting on the baby, but I can’t see how the baby could move any farther down, at least by looking at my profile. I won’t be surprised anymore if contractions start. Sure, I might go another week or more, but I’m getting the feeling that the baby will come by mid-week.
I love the fact that the baby is choosing her/her own birthday. I’ve never been too patient, but this ‘wait and see’ thing isn’t killing me. It feels like it’s the baby’s first big decision---just how big a procrastinator will you be, kiddo? All along, I’ve felt that the baby would come about a week late and be close to Leap Day. Now that I know I don’t have one of those rare Due Date babies, will the baby come on his/her great-grandpa’s birthday (Monday)? Or Mardi Gras? Or Ash Wednesday? Dan’s cousin’s birthday is Saturday, Leap Day is Sunday, and my half-birthday is next Monday. My guess is that we’ll hit Thursday or Friday—one of the two days I haven’t found anything special about =) Any day our baby chooses will be plenty special. I just wonder which day he/she’ll pick.
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