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April 3, 2004
April 3, 2004--Feeling Human at Last
I had high hopes of typing a new entry and perhaps starting my birth story yesterday while I visited my parents, but during the short time Peter was napping, he was snuggled into my shoulder and I couldn't put him down. My dad has a laptop that I could use while sitting on the couch, but so much for using that. Now, Dan's the one holding the sleeping baby, and I figured out a way to sit in a comfy chair while typing--I pulled our big chaise over to the computer and put the keyboard on my lap. It's not a longterm solution, but I ought to be able to sit on hard chairs sometime soon, right?
I've been feeling so much better for the past couple days. On Thursday, I got some laundry done in the morning while carrying a surprisingly-happy Peter in a Snugli. That afternoon, one of my SIL's came over and we brought Peter out in the stroller. After a few blocks of having the sun in his eyes, Randi carryied him the rest of the way, but at least we got outside! That evening, I left the house without Peter for the first time since we left the hospital--I left twice for half an hour each, to drop off a roll of film and go to the grocery store, then to pick up the photos and go to Dairy Queen :) Even though I'd JUST fed Peter when I left, Dan was glad to see me return because Peter had worked himself into a fit and only nursing would calm him down. That night, Dan and Peter crashed on the bed at 9pm and I managed to wash the diapers and a a couple more loads of clothes. It's hard to enough to find clothes that fit in this no-longer-pregnant-but-nowhere-near-my-prepreg-size time without all of them being covered in spit up and sitting in the laundry bin!
Yesterday, I decided to take a chance and ran all over town. Peter made it easier on me by sleeping until 9:15. I'd fed him at 7:30 and felt wide awake afterwards, so I got up and showered and made a giant pile of everything we needed to bring with us before he even woke up. I was supposed to go to Kim's to get checked, but she called to say that she'd been at a birth all night, so we skipped outing #1. That simplified things quite a bit. Once Peter woke up, I changed and fed him, then put him in the Snugli to have two hands available to bring the diaper bag, backpack (with additional diapers), camera case, stroller, carseat, and odds and ends to the car. Peter was still in a reasonably good mood when I buckled him in for our first car ride alone together. I can't decide whether it's safe to have one of those car seat mirrors pinned in so I can see the kiddo, but it made me nervous to think of driving all over and not seeing him, so I used it.
Off we went, the two of us and a car full of baby gear, to my grandparents' house. They're the only close relatives who hadn't seen him yet, due to my grandma having a cold for the past couple weeks. This grandpa is the source of Peter's middle name--his middle name is also Kenneth, but he goes by Ken, not his first name. I managed to get there early since we didn't go to Kim's. Grandma was scared to hold him due to the lingering cold, but Grandpa had fun jiggling him around. Grandma kept telling him to be careful--it was cute. He was fussy enough that I fed him just after arriving and they didn't mind my breastfeeding in the living room. I'm getting better at lifting my shirt up instead of having to unbutton it, so I don't feel too exposed. Still, it's taking a little getting used to having my breasts out at various relatives' homes. I haven't had to leave the room to feed him, anyway. I talked with Grandma and Grandpa for awhile, then they fed me lunch. I managed to hold Peter on my lap while I ate--I think that's the first time I've eaten more than a quick sandwich while holding him. We nursed again before I left, and I showed off his diapers while I changed him. 12:15pm--second outfit of the day. (I brought about 7 changes of clothes for him, and one for me)
Peter was fairly cranky, despite my nursing right before we left, as we got back in the car to go to the chiropractor. He calmed down for a few minutes, then screamed most of the rest of the way. No need for the Elmo mirror to let me know how he's doing then! He'd now been awake 3.5 hours with only a brief car nap.
We got to the chiropractor and he was still upset, so I tried changed his diaper (didn't have to changed his onesie this time!). Not good enough. She suggested I feed him, which worked, even though it had been maybe 45 minutes since he'd last eaten. Okay, okay, if I'm not going to give him a pacifier, I need to expect to be one myself. Got it.
Oh, I haven't mentioned that I went all out with Classic Pooh for the day, have I? I haven't bought any Pooh stuff, but it seems to be a favorite for New Baby Boy gifts. He had on, at some point yesterday, a Pooh onesie, sleeper, outerwear suit, and blanket. All baby blue, of course. You should see the blue lint in our dryer these days.
Anyway, he did well with the chiropractor, and I managed to keep from making another appointment (Dan had me practice before I left, saying we'd hold off before coming back). Peter's major birth issues seem to have worked themselves out and I just don't want to have to bring him in every 2 weeks indefinitely.
He nursed again before we left to go visit Dan at work. His coworkers oohed and ahhed appropriately, even though he looked kind of goofy with a rash all over his head. Back at the hospital they commented on his extra-sensitive skin, and it's only getting worse. I'd put a polyester mattress protector underneath us the night before because changing the sheets almost daily got old really fast. We try to keep a diaper under his head, but he'd scooted off of it. Apparently, the polyester had irritated his head because the side he'd slept on was all splotchy. Poor kid! We gave him a bath this morning and that seems to helped a bit. We now have cotton receiving blankets over the mattress cover. What an ordeal.
While at Dan's work, he gave me the food I'd bought to bring to my parents', but hadn't wanted to store in the car all day.
Now 2:30, Peter had finally fallen asleep in the car on the way to see Dan, and we went to my parents' house. They've been in England visiting my sister (hi Kelsey!) for the past 10 days, and I figured we'd camp out there for the rest of the day. All these places we went are all on the north side of town, at least. I changed Petey's diaper, and he fell asleep on my shoulder. I watched the episode of ER I'd taped Thursday night.
Mom and Dad arrived around 4, and my mom ended up making dinner after all, but at least they didn't have to scrounge for food and there was fresh stuff to eat (I brought lasagne and fixings). Dan dropped by briefly but had to spend most of the evening at the Science Museum with his grad class. Mom and Dad had fun catching up with Peter, who didn't scream all that much. We brought him out in the stroller after dinner and said hi to a number of neighbors. One of them gave us the stuffed penguin that I'd sewn for their daughter for extra credit in my Home Ec class 12 years ago. It's got the black and white patterns that's supposed to catch eyes of newborns, and that seems to work with him. Whaddya know. Peter's favorite things to look at are walls and doorways. He'll stare right past me every time in favor of the wall.
By the end of the day, Peter was in his third outfit, and my shirt had stayed pee and spit-up free. Amazing. Dan's shirt this morning lasted about 10 minutes.
Since Peter's umbilical cord finally fell off (around 10 days old), we've been bringing him into the bathtub with me. He likes the water and only gets upset if we don't get him warm and dressed quickly afterwards. Since I'm supposed to be bathing 2-3 times a day still, there are plenty of opportunities to throw him in with me, although I'm too nervous to bathe him alone because he's so slippery and I don't know if I could get out of the bath fast enough to get him dry before he went into hysterics. He's not a big fan of having his diaper changed, but he cries less if we put the wipes under warm water first. He does like getting dressed, although that doesn't mean that he'll bend his arms to be put into sleeves easily.
Feeding and sleeping--the big things these days. Feeding is going pretty well. I've been nursing him lying down at night for the past week and a half. Sometimes I can sleep better while he nurses than other times, but I'm usually surprised to see how much time has passed when he begins sounding hungry again. Dan burps and changes him overnight--we probably only do them if I'm awake when he falls off the breast, which is once or twice a night. If I've slept more, then we generally wake up with wet spots on his clothes and the bed. Hence the mattress protector and blankets. We're getting more and more comfortable with having him in bed with us. I think I'm getting better at distinguishing active sleep (where he cries out and opens his eyes, but is definitely still asleep) from his "I'm hungry, feed me!" times. He generally falls asleep between 8 and 10, wake up 4 hours later to eat, then wakes every 2-3 hours until morning. He gets up for good between 7:30 and 9:30. Today he fed from 9:30 to 10 before getting up. He often sleeps again from 9-11 or so, but that's not always. Today he didn't fall asleep until 1ish. I can tell when he's overtired and just needs to sleep, but that doesn't mean I can convince Peter. He'll nap again in the late afternoon, or maybe evening. He often goes 5 hours without napping, the crazy child. Then other days, he'll hardly be awake. He's starting to be happier during his waking times, but the tummy problems resurface now and again, and then he's grouchy until he poops.
I'm finally feeling more of a bond with him, largely because my nursing is such a surefire way to comfort him. This morning Dan was trying to calm him down and eventually gave him to me. Even though he wouldn't nurse, he happily stared at the wall behind me awhile and seemed content. I've been wondering how big a difference it made that Peter's first day, I spent at home sleeping while Dan accompanied him to the hospital and was with him through all the tests, and the drive there in a blizzard. I desperately needed the sleep and wouldn't changed things if I could go back, but Dan seemed bonded with him immediately and it's taking me a lot longer. Isn't it suppsoed to be the other way around?
On Wednesday, a postpartum doula/lactation consultant came for the afternoon, thanks to my Time For You board friends. I'd had a rough morning and it turned out to be perfect timing. She helped me with Peter's latch (he drifts back into the nipple-biting thing sometimes), and weighed him before and after eating. He was 10 lbs 0.6 oz, which was pretty exciting. His face is getting rounder and rounder, so I know he's gaining weight, but hitting 10 lbs sounds great to me. Anyway, the weighings showed that he ate 3.2 oz from one side, then 0.8 oz from the other. That was probably 15 min, then almost 10. It's amazing how he knows he's full (he was oozing milk after the first side, and I normally wouldn't have even offered the seoncd) and changes his eating pattern so that he consumes less when he doesn't need it. He probably feeds on average, ever hour and a half when he's awake. According to the LC's calculations, he needs 24 oz in a day to gain an ounce of weight, which would only be 6 feedings like that one. I'd say that he probably eats like that maybe 4 times, and has more of a snack the other 6ish times, but he did average 2 oz a day gained for the past week, so he'd definitely eating more than that. We stopped paying close attention to when and how long he eats after the first couple weeks when he started eating well.
We don't have any plans for this weekend (ahhh) except possibly for getting a bed from my parents. My friend Cheryl is coming from San Francisco for Easter, so we need it before Friday. I've got to find out if the family baptismal gown is too small for Peter. He's a few weeks younger than most of us were at our baptisms, but he started a lot bigger. I'm hoping that by late next week, I can handle sitting in wooden pews for all the Easter services. We've gone to church four times with various levels of success so far. Last Sunday, we arrived early and I nursed him, which was enough to keep him happy through the mass. Tuesday night, we went to my church class and over the 2 hours, I fed him twice and Dan had to walk him around for most of the other time. I've got to decide whether I can bring him to a service this Tuesday by myself while Dan's in class. I don't know...
Wow, it's amazing to just sit and type for more than a few minutes again. Sorry about any typos--I'd rather post this right away than tell myself I'll edit it later. My boys are up in bed napping. I should rest here too while I can. Never know how long Peter will be awake next. It's wonderful to feel human again.
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