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February 16, 2004
Welcome to the Wonder, My Child: The Birth Story of Emily Jean
Today Emily is 2 weeks old, and I’m celebrating by writing her birth story.
She wasn’t a Super Bowl baby like we thought she’d be. In fact, we turned down two invitations to Super Bowl parties because we thought we’d either have a baby or be in labor by then. But I’d come down with a terrible cold the week of my due date, and I was glad she didn’t come on Super Bowl Sunday, because I was really sick and stuffed up. So Jason and I watched the Super Bowl and ate pizza alone. The Patriots won at the last minute, saving the game from overtime. Both of us were moaning that we didn’t want to go to work the next day, having already handed off projects and set out of office messages. That night Jason slept in the hide-a-bed to avoid catching my cold; he didn’t want to be sick when the baby came.
The next morning (February 2, Groundhog’s Day) I woke up at 5:00 a.m. with a contraction. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it felt like a menstrual cramp that was large enough to wake me up. I was also having a lot of gas from the pizza, and I still wasn’t sure if the contractions were the real thing or not, so I just laid in bed until it was time to get up for work. By about 6:30 or 7:00, I knew there was no way I could go to work. I talked to Jason and told him I thought it was best if he stayed home. I had an appointment scheduled with my OB at 11:30 (the one I wasn’t supposed to need, because I was supposed to have gone into labor before it.) I didn’t think I’d be able to drive there by myself.
So I went back to bed until 8:00, when the person I needed to call at work would be there. Jason got up and shoveled 3 inches of snow. I still hadn’t really told Jason that I was actually having contractions because I didn’t want him to get all excited or nervous if it was false labor. But I got up around 9:00, and tried to time the contractions, which were about every 10 minutes or so. Jason was doing stuff on the computer. By 10:00, I called my doula, Kristina, to put her on alert. She said from my description it sounded like the real thing, and thought it was a good idea to keep my OB appointment. After talking with her, I finished packing my overnight bag—just a few last minute things, and told Jason we needed to eat lunch before we went to the doctor. We had eggs and bacon, for the protein so I’d have energy.
We brought the overnight bag with us to the appointment. Jason did end up making a wrong turn—the short way to the hospital from our house involves going down a hill and then back up the hill on another road, and it’s really easy to miss and go up the first time. It was still snowing and the roads were really slippery. So we were a little late, but so was my doctor, so it was fine.
I still had to pee in a stupid cup, since they check it at every visit. When Dr. G. checked my cervix, he smiled and said, “I think we’ll send you over to labor and delivery.” I was 4 centimeters dilated and 90% effaced, and my contractions were less than 5 minutes apart by that time. So the nurse wheeled me over to the hospital wing, and put me in an open room. I called my doula to tell her we were staying; and she said she’d be there in an hour.
The first nurse I had in the hospital was near the end of her shift, and pretty tired. But she did finish my admittance (we had pre-registered), and asked me about pain medication so she could have it ready. I told her I was planning to use Nubain and an ISN, but no epidural. She had trouble finding a vein for my IV, which I thought was strange, but eventually she got it in. While they were waiting for orders from Dr. G., I walked around the hospital wings to see if it would speed up the contractions.
They asked me if it was okay if a resident saw me, which I said was fine. Dr. G. had surgery scheduled that afternoon. The resident, Dr. C., finally reached Dr. G, who told her it was okay to break my bag of waters so that the contractions would speed up. Dr. C. did a great job, she was really gentle, and I felt confident in her even though she was a resident. The amniotic fluid was a little green, so they said because of the meconium they’d have to suction the baby’s mouth and nose as soon as it came out. But it was only a moderate amount of meconium, nothing really to worry about.
As the contractions kept coming faster, Jason and Kristina were really helpful. I did a lot of standing up and leaning on Jason during the contractions, and he breathed with me and timed them all. I didn’t like standing and leaning on the bed (with it raised up), as the nurse suggested. I did do some on my hands and knees, leaning on the bed with the bed low. I also really liked the birthing ball, but whenever I sat on it the contractions slowed down. It was a good way to rest.
The nursing shift changed at 3:00, and after that I had one of the best nurses there, according to Kristina. Jackie, the nurse, was awesome. For one, she was well rested, and she was obviously very experienced at labor and delivery. She put a different monitor on me that would read better. I only had external monitors—one for the baby’s heartbeat, and one for the contractions, but they both seemed to be pretty worthless. Every time I moved, the monitors stopped registering. As long as I could feel the baby moving, no one worried about whether the monitor was working or not—every once in awhile they’d reposition it to get a reading, but I could easily have done without them the whole time.
The contractions were getting stronger, so I asked for the shot of Nubain—I figured I’d start out with the lowest pain medication and move up; and it was easy because I already had the IV in. I was about 6 cm. dilated by that point, and Jackie thought it was a good choice. It did give me a chance to rest, but it also made me really sick. Instead of relieving the pain in my pelvic area, it went straight to my head and made me really dizzy and nauseated—I felt like I couldn’t think clearly. So I told them no more Nubain.
Meanwhile, my baby was really pushing to get out. With every contraction, my back was killing me. My back hurt more than the contractions did. I didn’t understand why I was having back labor, because the baby was facing the right direction. But Jason later told me that it was because the baby kept pushing off my back like a swimmer off the edge of a pool. He applied counter pressure to my back during the contractions, which helped. Kristina gave me ice chips, helped massage my back, and reminded me to breathe deeply. (My prenatal yoga really helped here—I am used to breathing deeply when told.)
Around 5 or 6, Jason called our friends to go take care of our dogs. After they came and got the key from him, the nurses strongly suggested that Jason go down to the cafeteria and eat before it closed at 6:30. He was reluctant to leave, but Kristina was there with me. Jackie got me a lime slushy, which was a nice change from just plain ice.
The contractions started coming really hard, and I was close enough that they told me I could push if I felt like it. But it hurt so bad, I couldn’t push. I went through quite a few contractions on my hands and knees on the bed, rocking back and forth, nearly in tears. Finally I thought I better ask for the ISN. But by then I was already 8 cm. dilated and it was too late for an ISN. So I just kept going. The transition phase from 8 to 10 cm. was miserable, the hardest part of the labor. Dr. C. came in to check my progress a couple times, and toward the end they had me push a little so I would fully dilate.
Jackie called Dr. G., who to my amazement, had stayed to deliver my baby and had not transferred me over to the on-call doctor for the night. Dr. G. took a little while to get there, and when he did, chewed out the nurse for not giving him my room number! Since Jackie was so great the rest of the time, I don’t hold that one little mistake against her at all.
I began pushing at 8:00. I had already put in my birth plan that I did not want to push in the C-position that we had tried in childbirth class—it was uncomfortable even when I was just trying it. I was going to try squatting, but tried pushing on my side first, and that worked so I stuck with it. Besides, getting up at that point seemed impossible.
Jason was really great through the whole labor, but he really shined while I was pushing. He held one leg while Jackie held my other leg and they forced me to push my legs back while I pushed. Jason counted to 10 with every push, and encouraged me along the way. He told me when he could see the head, and kept telling me not to give up, and kept telling me I was doing a great job. I was able to get about 4 pushes in with each contraction. At some point they took apart the end of the bed, and I had to go onto my back so they could catch her when she came out. Dr. G. told me not to exhale before I pushed—I was losing momentum by letting air out too early. Jason kept counting for me and during some pushes I even made it to 12 or 14 count. As everyone could see the head, everybody was cheering for me—the doctors, the nurses, Jason and Kristina. Having my own personal cheerleaders really helped me through. At this point it actually felt better to push than to not push. It was hard to tell when the contractions were coming because there wasn’t that much time between them, and I still hurt between them.
They asked me if I wanted the baby on my chest right away. I did, but I mumbled something about the meconium, and they agreed they’d better check the baby first. Then the head came out, and Jackie warned me not to push, and reminded me to do the pah-pah breathing. (This was the only breathing exercise from the childbirth class that I did.) Then a couple more pushes once they told me I could, and all of the sudden she was out! The last push was so amazing, to feel her finally come out of me. She was so squirmy; Jason said I shot her past a whole bunch of hands. I felt her wiggling around my bottom and heard her crying. Jason told me it was a girl, that it was little Emily. I was surprised; I had really thought it was a boy. She was born at 9:08 after only 1 hour, 8 minutes of pushing.
Dr. G. clamped the cord and held it up for my husband to cut. This was the only part of our birth plan we didn’t follow. Jason had really not wanted to cut the cord; he had been afraid he’d get queasy at the sight of all the blood, etc. But he did remarkably well, and after Dr. G. encouraged him, Jason cut the cord after all. Another nurse took the baby over to the warmer and got her cleaned up, while the doctors and Jackie took care of me. They gave me a little bit of Pitocin to make sure the contractions would continue long enough to deliver the placenta. The placenta was huge, it felt almost as big as another baby but it was soft and squishy. Then Dr. G. took the cord and placenta to remove the blood for the cord blood donor program we signed up for. Jackie palpated my stomach for a while, and then Dr. C. did my stitches, with Dr. G. showing her how. I had some slight tearing, but had avoided an episiotomy because Dr. G. said I would probably tear worse if they made any cuts.
Jason got to watch the baby being bathed, weighed, and measured, and Kristina took pictures of the whole thing. I was really glad she was there with the camera, because I didn’t get to see most of the early baby stuff. She used our digital camera, and Jason arranged all the photos into a QuickTime movie. I still cry when I watch it.
Then they brought her to me and I got to hold her. I couldn’t believe she was finally here. She was a girl. She had hair. (I was bald as a baby, until I was 2 years old.) I had made it through labor with only one early shot of Nubain and no other pain meds. I hadn’t needed Pitocin to restart my labor in the middle. Emily didn’t need any internal monitors, any forceps or vacuum, and everything (except Jason cutting the cord, a minor thing) went according to our birth plan. Birth is such a miracle. It happens all the time, but each little baby is such a miracle. I was so grateful to have such a wonderful labor; especially after some horror stories I’d heard from friends.
Sometime in all this Jason started calling people—my mom (the only one we’d told when I went into labor), his parents, his grandma, my dad, my sister. Maybe some other people—that part is a blur.
Once all the excitement died down a little, Jackie helped me breastfeed Emily for the first time. It was hard to get her to latch on at first, but we did okay. I got to eat finally—they had Healthy Choice TV dinners since the cafeteria was closed. They needed the labor bed for someone else, so I moved to a different room where they actually had a more comfortable bed—the labor beds are pretty hard and firm. Jason stayed until after midnight, until I was settled in my new room.
I kept her with me the first night. I couldn’t let her out of my sight; I just loved her so much. I was worried about her because she seemed to be having trouble breathing. I think she still had some amniotic fluid in her. It was really easy to tell what she needed. She had a certain cry for being cold. When she needed a new diaper, she started wiggling her legs. Her other cries were when she was hungry. Finally at 4:00 a.m., when the nurse came in to check on us, and Emily spit up all over her bassinet, I let them take her to the nursery so I could sleep.
The tagline on my entry is from a song I hope my husband and I will sing at Emily’s baptism, if it’s okay with the music directors at our church. I especially like the chorus. Here are the lyrics.
"WELCOME TO THE WONDER"
Most every morning I look deep into your eyes and I can see
all the beauty of creation, all the mystery
And when I see your face I feel God's living grace right here with me
and it lifts me up and leads me on when I am weak
Chorus:
Welcome to the wonder my child
You give us life with every smile
I hope you feel our love is real
as you live the wonder of it all
Oh when I hear you cry I don't need reasons why, I just hold you
'cause there's nothing more important than to see you through
And when I hear your laugh I know I could not ask for something more
than to share with you the love that we are living for (Chorus)
I know I can't explain all of the senseless pain that falls so near
though I greive I still believe we should not live in fear
I'm hoping as you grow, with everything you know that you will see
It's in giving to another that you will be free (Chorus)
Tag:
I hope you feel God's love is real
as you live the wonder of it all
Words and Music by Larry Olson & Karol Baer
©1992 Dakota Road Music.
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