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January 21, 2002
January 21, 2002
30 Weeks
It feels so much more comforting to say “30 weeks” than it did to say “29.” Even though premature babies born in the “20”s can still survive, something about being in the 30s seems so much safer. Now, if I can get to the 34-35 week mark, I will really start to breathe easily...
Rhogam Shot
I was about ready to slap one of the support staff at my OB’s last week. Here’s why: at my last OB visit, I had blood drawn to test for the RH factor. We knew already that I am O - and that Charles is B +, but they drew my blood anyway to see if I was building up antibodies to my baby’s blood. This was supposedly to determine whether I would need the Rhogam shot or not. They drew my blood on a Wednesday and by Friday, I still had not heard from my OB what the results were. On my instruction sheet, it said I had to receive the shot by the upcoming Monday. So, I called the office and spoke with one of the receptionists (first mistake) who told me that my results were negative. When I asked her what that meant she told me it meant that I did not need the shot and that my baby has negative blood like I do. So, I happily went on my way and forgot all about the shot. On Monday, I received a call from the nurse at my OB’s office telling me that I had to get my shot ASAP, that I tested positive. Immediately, I just lost it. I explained to the nurse what I had been told by the receptionist and that I didn’t understand or accept how such an error could be made. These are very simple concepts for doctors, nurses, etc. to relay to a patient - is it so tough for them to get it right, to explain it to their patients correctly???? I mean, what if this had been crucial information?
What really made me angry was the fact that the receptionist who gave me the incorrect information, was the same woman who gave me incorrect information when I had a toxoplasmosis test done weeks earlier. And on top of giving me the wrong information, she also had the nerve to say "How should I know, I'm not a doctor!" when I asked her what the results exactly meant. I’m sorry, but if a person who works in a DOCTOR’S OFFICE can’t properly deliver critical information in a polite and professional manner, then that person shouldn’t be working there - end of story. The nurse I spoke with who did in fact give me the correct information, apologized profusely and said they have been having trouble with this one receptionist giving out incorrect information to patients. She then went on to explain that despite the fact that my body is not producing anitbodies to the baby’s blood, I still would need the shot because the baby could still have my blood type and to be on the safe side, they always administer the shot. She also said that you can’t determine the baby’s blood type until after it is born, unless you go through some other extreme method like CVS, etc.
Well, you can bet your ass that when I go in for my next appointment on the 30th, I will be speaking to my OB about this other woman and her unacceptable level of incompetence. I am not saying I want her to lose her job, I certainly don’t want that guilt on my shoulders, I just don’t want her having anything to do with me or my file, ever again.
The Rhogam shot itself was nothing at all, totally not like what had been described to me. I've had mosquito bites that have hurt worse.
On a more pleasant note, our baby furniture has finally arrived and was scheduled for delivery last week. However, since my MIL had told us she would be visiting, we postponed the delivery until after Feb. 1. Turns out, she is not coming after all, she claims she has too much to do and it appears as if we postponed the furniture delivery all for nothing. Needless to say, I am just a tad bit pissed because I really would have liked to get started on the nursery by now.
Speaking of furniture, for awhile now Charles and I had been debating where to put the baby to sleep for it’s first month or so of life. We are not big fans of the traditional bassinet with it’s white frill and lace. Plus, they just seem like a lot of money for something you use for only a month or so. A couple of people had suggested a stroller of infant seat for the first month, others suggested a cradle. While all of these seemed like good suggestions, something just didn’t feel right to me about putting a baby so close to the floor. I really want the baby to be high up near me, and a co-sleeper would be out of the question. So, as we usually do, we stuck our heads in the sand and decided to worry about it as I got closer to my due date. Real intelligent, I realize. I guess we were sort of hoping that a wonderful solution would present itself and sure enough, it did. We were in Buy Buy Baby a couple of weeks ago and they had just gotten in the most beautiful bassinet I have ever seen. A natural/light colored wicker bassinet with shelving underneath and wheels on the bottom. The best part is that the actual bassinet part comes off the stand (it has handles) and can be used as a Moses basket, albeit a very large one. We simply loved it! It comes with all the bedding which does just happen to be white, but with the natural wicker contrast, it really looked pretty. Plus, I figure I can make (or someone who is a good seamstress can make) other bedding in different colors for a change of pace. It feels good to know that’s one less thing to take care of.
I have been having a lot of backaches recently which have been seriously interfering with my sleep. On Saturday night we went to BRU to have the Baby Bjorn carrier removed from my registry since I received it for Christmas. (From what I hear, BRU is the worst about removing things from a person’s registry, even after requested from the buyer). Anyhow, while browsing the aisles, I came across this pillow contraption called a pregnancy wedge. It consist of two wedge pillows connected by a Velcro strap. You put one wedge under your belly and another against your back while you sleep. As it was only $14, I thought I might as well give it a try, I was so desperate. As it turned out, this wedge pillow was the best damn thing I have purchased my entire pg. Oh my God, was it great! Not only does my back not hurt anymore, but my neck feels better too. I am sure this pillow doesn’t work for all women but if you want my opinion, I think it is stellar. My advice is don’t bother trying to arrange your own pillows underneath you, it is too much bother and doesn’t work anyway - definitely go out and get the pg wedge!
Now I have to bring up a topic from out of nowhere just to get other’s opinions. I am sure a lot of you out there watch “Friends” and if you do, you know that Rachel is pregnant with Ross’ baby. Well, this past week (or was it last week), they showed an episode with Rachel getting an u/s and finding out the sex of her baby. As we all know, to find out the sex of your baby, you have to be somewhere around 16-20 weeks along, right? I mean, isn’t that usually the time when they do that big u/s? Now I know that not all woman show as quickly as others but Friends is just being ridiculous. First of all, they have Rachel looking rail thin as usual, but even worse, they don’t even show her as having a paunch or a pooch or anything. They have her dressed in these extremely fitting clothes which shows her stomach as being completely flat. I know it is only a TV show but a little bit of reality would be nice here - at least have the girl wearing a baggy shirt, sweater, something! Don’t you think? I mean, even the thinnest women have SOMETHING at 20 weeks. I realize that there are those rare few who don’t show forever, but for the sake of the show, it would have been nice to make Rachel look like she had at least eaten lunch.
In swim class today everyone was talking about breast feeding. One woman in particular was saying that her daughter is going to have to get used to “sharing the breast with her little sister, once she gets here.” Everyone was amazed that this woman was still BF’ing while pg, no one had ever even thought it possible, in fact. The BF woman reassured us all that it is perfectly healthy and normal to BF while pg. One of the other women in the class, a nurse, muttered under her breath that it was not healthy at all, but she let it go. Then our instructor commented to the BF woman that it has to be hard having two children so close together with them both sharing the breast and all. The BF woman then told us that her child is 2 1/2 years old and that she just didn’t want to wean her off the breast, that she preferred to let her daughter decide “when the time was best for her.” She also added that usually kids stop BF’ing naturally when they are 4 or 5 years old.
Again, despite my subconscience screaming otherwise, I simply must comment. First and foremost, I will tell you that I am a strong advocate of BF’ing. I believe all those studies out there that say a BF child CAN, not will but CAN have a higher IQ, be less sick, have a higher chance of completing college, etc. than a non-BF child. I do believe that BF’ing CAN be a positive, bonding experience and that BF’ing is probably best for the baby. HOWEVER, I do not think that mothers who don’t BF are bad or less concerned about their child, I do not believe that a BF child is smarter/healthier/happier than a non-BF child JUST because it was BF, nor do I believe that BF’ing is for everybody. I especially do not think that a new mother should stress herself out to the point of tears and frustration if she simply is unable to BF. All in all, my theory is that I plan on BF’ing and I sincerely hope it works out, but if it doesn’t I certainly won’t kill myself or lose any sleep over it. I do plan to BF as long as I am physically able and until it makes sense to stop. That said, one thing I feel VERY strongly about with regard to this topic is that breast feeding is great when used for BABIES. A CHILD in my opinion should not be BF, there is simply something very wrong about that to me. And before I have members of La Leche League coming to my board and threatening my life, I can tell you that nothing on God’s green earth will ever change my mind on that - nothing. Admittedly, I will say that in my own mind, I cannot honestly come up with an age that I feel is appropriate to wean a baby, never having been through it before. My gut instinct is to say that once teeth are present and the child can walk up to me and simply grab on mid-sentence, this is probably a good time to let the well dry up. But by the time my child is 5 years old, s/he could already be on a “soccer team” or little league or any other team sport. Can you imagine my child running up to me at half-time and instead of reaching for the sports drink to quench her thirst she instead lifts up my shirt? Oh hell no, I don’t think so. Call me crazy, call me a bad mother, call me the antithesis of Mother Earth, but it just isn’t going to happen.
As it turns out, after the class the BF woman told me that I really shouldn’t rely on the hospital to teach me how to BF and that instead, I need to talk to one of someone at her La Leche League meeting. (I should have known). She said that once it all was explained to me I would really understand and appreciate the true art of BF’ing. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not calling this woman a wacko/psycho, she is entitled to her beliefs. I just don’t happen to agree with them AT ALL. My feelings on this topic as well as many others remain the same - I don’t care what you do, just don’t try and impose/force your beliefs on me. I would never in a million years tell this woman in my class that I think she is wrong or hurting her child or a bad mother, 1) because I don’t believe any of those things, but 2) because it is HER decision how to raise that child, not mine. So, instead I just smile politely and nod my head and then go do what I want anyway. That’s what works best for me.
That’s about it for this week, not a whole lot has gone on that I feel is worth reporting. My appetite continues to decrease and I am getting more tired as the days pass. The baby moves a lot at times and not at all at others. There are times when I have 3 BH contractions/hour so I am cutting it close to the 4 contractions/hour limit. I attribute this to stress and worry, which I will not go into here. It seems I tend to contract when I am upset about something, which seems to be often these days.
Until next week, all the best,
Corinne and Tiny Dancer
EDD 4-1-02
PS: We just now started referring to the baby as Tiny Dancer because every time we play that song by Elton John, the baby never fails to move. In a way, it is sort of like s/he is dancing to the music, with his/her tiny little feet.
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