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March 4, 2002
March 4, 2002
Two Part Entry
35 Weeks
Hello everyone,
I am so sorry that I have been away for awhile, it has been so hectic for me these days running around trying to get everything done, and going away to CT for nearly a week. After returning home from CT, my MIL stayed with us and while I had a good time with her, it was slightly stressful as well, but more on that later. Anyway, because I missed a week, I will do a two-parter to recap on this week and the one I missed.
Weekend in Connecticut - Shower # 1
On February 22 my mother, Charles and I drove to CT to attend the shower that was being thrown for us by Charles’ cousin. It wasn’t a bad trip at all, I wasn’t really uncomfortable and we only stopped, I think, 4 times, so that I could go to the bathroom. Not bad for 6 hours in the car. That night, my MIL fixed us all this great dinner of pasta with real Italian sausage in the meat sauce and Charles’ aunt, (who was also visiting for the shower), had brought with her VA country ham, complete with fat and grease. Of course, I ate like a pig simply because it tasted so good. Well, around 4 a.m. the morning of the shower, I started having the absolute worst abdominal pain ever, complete with mild contractions. I thought, oh God - this is it, I’m in labor and I am not even near home!!!! I knew that I shouldn’t have gone on that trip so close to my due date. Turns out that all I had was a stomach ache from all the crap food I ate (that my stomach is no longer used to) and by around noon on the day of the shower I was back to my old self. But let me tell you, what a scary feeling that was.
I just have to backtrack for one moment to say that on Thursday night (Feb. 21) we had our final Lamaze class where we were brought on a tour of the hospital. Nothing makes the whole pg seem more real than a hospital visit. It was such a sobering experience, a great experience but scary nonetheless. They showed us the whole maternity wing, the labor and delivery room, (VERY SCARY), and then we were brought to the nursery where we got to see all the babies. We saw one in the window who looked to me to be about 4 lbs, s/he was so TINY. When I asked the nurse how much s/he weighed, she told me that baby weighed 7 lbs! I think I am in for a rude awakening the first time I see my child, I am expecting to see a much larger baby than I will probably get. Anyway, my point is that when I thought I was in labor the morning of the shower, I got really scared, not only because I was far from home, but because the whole hospital visit was still fresh in my mind. I am not really afraid of pain as much as I am of caring for this little life or worse, screwing it up. And I am in no way ready to go into labor this early, I need at LEAST 2-3 more weeks.
Anyway - back to the shower. The shower was absolutely wonderful. The best part about it was seeing all my friends and family who I hadn’t seen since I left CT last year. It was so nice to be around everyone and hang out and catch up. I have to say, I really do miss all these people, I wish we didn’t live so far away.
I think for the most part almost everyone feels uncomfortable being the center of attention and opening gifts in front of people, so I was definitely dreading that, especially since there were so many people. But really, it wasn’t so bad. All of it went by so incredibly fast because there were so many gifts to open. Charles’ cousin (who planned the whole thing) kept shoving gifts in front of me and then whisking them away to try and keep the flow going otherwise we would have been there for 5 hours. I was stunned really to see all the stuff I got, the generosity of people. I got two car seats, a play yard, a jogging stroller, a travel system stroller, a diaper genie, a TV video monitor, a regular monitor, a jolly jumper, a back pack child carrier, a swing, a bathtub, bottles, a gymini, a boppy, as well as a bunch of clothes, toys, books and other special, unique gifts. One really special gift was this bunch of stuffed plush moon and star shapes that hang from clear string from your ceiling, I’ve never really seen anything like it. All in all, like I said, I was stunned by how generous people were. I feel so fortunate and so blessed to have such great friends and family.
So, you must be wondering how we got all this stuff home, after all, we drove home with four people in the car (the original 3 plus my MIL, plus our suitcases, etc.). Even though were driving an SUV, that still was a lot of big boxes to fit into one trunk area. At first, we thought we would ship stuff but not only might that take awhile, it could get expensive. So, Charles came up with a really great idea, (I thought). He suggested we return all the big items to the Babies R US in CT, (the stroller, play yard, car seats, etc.), have them all credited to a gift card, and then re-buy the items in VA when we returned home. This is exactly what we did and it worked out great. When we got home, we just went back to BRU (where everything came from), and bought everything right back, it was the simplest thing in the world. No muss, no fuss.
The rest of the weekend was a lot of fun as well. The night of the shower, my mom, my MIL, Charles and I and his Aunt all went to Foxwood’s casino in CT, which if I am not mistaken, is the largest casino in the country - or is it the world? Sad, I can’t even remember that simple fact but at any rate, we all went and played the slots which was a lot of fun. None of us won anything however, though out of all of us, I lost the least - about $10 so it was still pretty fun. The cigarette smoke in the casino was killing me after awhile and at around 11:30 that night, we all went to eat dinner at one of the restaurants in the casino and got home at about 1:30 that morning. The next morning we all went to Northhampton, MA (the town where Smith College is), which is the same place that Charles proposed to me. It is a very quaint little town with a bunch of adorable little stores selling unique and interesting items. We walked around in all the little shops (and there are a ton), ate lunch and just had a great time. One of the reasons I had wanted to go back to Northhampton was because the last time we were there, I had seen a print that I wanted to buy. It was by an artist who draws these sort of abstract drawings and then includes a passage on the print by the drawing. The one I had wanted to buy had a picture of a man and a woman embracing and next to the image was written: “He looked at her and said, you are the strangest person I have ever met and she looked back at him and said, and so are you,” and they decided to spend the rest of their life together.” I have always adored that print, it always made me think of Charles and I and how we came to be together. So, I finally decided to buy it. However, when I went to this shop, I noticed that there was another print I had never seen before. It had images of children on it and next to the images was written “I sometimes wake in the morning and listen to the soft breathing of my children and I think to myself, this is the one thing I’ll never regret and I carry that quiet with me all day long.” I decided that that print pretty much captured my exact sentiments with regard to this baby and therefore, I should buy this print instead. It is now framed and hanging in the immediate doorway of the baby’s room. It’s about my favorite thing in the room, except maybe the red sweater.
The only thing I regret not being able to do while in CT was have our pg pictures taken. I had mentioned in my last entry that I had a friend who is a professional photographer who had said he would take pictures of Charles and I together, some with my belly exposed. Unfortunately, during the time I was there, the photographer had a 104 degree fever and a horrible flu and felt uncomfortable being around me for fear of making me sick too. Of course I completely understood but felt bad that we would miss out on the pictures. We will probably end up cheating a little and take black and whites ourselves and just blowing them up to a bigger size, it’s better than not doing it at all I suppose. It’s just that right now, I have neither the time nor the energy to find/research a new photographer who I trust to take decent pictures.
36 Weeks
Dr’s appointment
After returning back to VA, I went in for my now weekly check up on 2/28, expecting to have an internal done. Instead, my doctor told me that they wouldn’t do internals until the next week (this week) and instead just performed the Strep B culture test (or whatever it is called). The doctor felt around my stomach and when I asked him if he could predict the baby’s size, his response was “You know, it is always so hard to tell with you tall girls. I could be wrong but I am guessing you are having a 7 lb baby, give or take 1 or 2 lbs. Now I ask you, don’t you think that it would have been easier for my OB to respond, “I just don’t know?” Basically what this doctor told me is that I could have a 5 lb, a 6 lb, a 7 lb, an 8 lb, or a 9 lb baby - that is not exactly what I would call narrowing down the field, but whatever. As long as it’s healthy, I don’t care what size it is, though a 7 lb baby would be perfect, in my opinion.
Nothing else noteworthy happened at the appt, though I did lose 1 lb (miracle of all miracles). This surprised me because not only did I eat like a pig for days in CT but I also missed a whole week of swimming - go figure. I mentioned to my doctor that I had lost almost all feeling in my right hand, that it felt like a 1000 rubber bands were wrapped around my fingers. He diagnosed me with carpal tunnel syndrome due to pg and prescribed me a really sexy, flesh colored, orthopedic wrist support to be worn while I sleep. I have now worn it for three nights and the only difference I have noticed is a hotter hand that still has no feeling in it. Even worse, in my sleep I take the wrist support off without even realizing I am doing it. Unfortunately, it appears as though nothing is going to help my poor hands at this point, I will just have to live with it. The funny thing about them is if you were to see my shower pictures, the first thing you notice is my huge, beefy hands. They look really weird!
I was sort of annoyed by the OB, (what else is new), because he looked through my file and commented on the fact that we are saving our baby’s cord blood. He congratulated me for doing it and said it was a smart move, BUT, he also said that what he will really need from the father (Charles) is help during the procedure on how to correctly carry out the collection, etc. Basically, he said that they need Charles to help guide them and make sure they are doing everything correctly. WHAT?!?! Is he kidding me?!!? Excuse me, but the doctor is the one with the medical degree, not my husband and it is therefore the practice’s responsibility to make sure they carry out the procedure correctly! I mean, what does Charles know? All we have are the same set of instructions the doctors have, how can we possibly guide the doctors through this procedure? I had even asked one of the other OBs a few months back if they were familiar with the collection process and she told me they do it all the time, it is no problem at all, so I have no idea what this guy had been smoking. Looks like I will have to pray he is not the one on call the day I go into labor!
My mother-in-law
I love my MIL dearly, she is a sweet woman who will do anything for you. She is generous, kind, comforting and affectionate -all in all, she will make a great grandmother, but like a lot of MILs, she think she knows best about babies and she ALSO thinks that the way you did things 40 years ago means times shouldn’t change and you should always do things the same way. For example, while she was visiting, I decided that I would wash all the baby’s things. I had asked readers about this and was told by a lot of you to wash the clothes so they wouldn’t be too hard or rough or chemically treated, etc. My MIL saw me doing this and asked in this incredulous tone what I was doing. When I explained to her why I was washing the baby’s clothes, she said (in a joking voice), that I was being ridiculous, that I was way too obsessive about cleanliness and germs and that all that would change once the baby was born. She also said that in “her day,” they didn’t wash anything and that people these days were too obsessed with eliminating germs. I tried to explain to her why I was washing things but she just laughed it away chalking it all up to my being a neat-freak, which was so not the case. If you all remember, I was the one who thought it was overkill and only changed my mind about it all once receiving all your advice.
Next, my MIL started in on how the baby should sleep in our room, in our bed, whenever it wants to, no matter how old it is. This is a practice I just don’t agree with and though it is one she enjoyed with her sons, it is not one that I wish to start. And please understand, I mean NO OFFENSE to anyone who is into co-sleeping, it is just not for me. And, even if I were into the co-sleeping method, I can guarantee you that Charles would not be. So, my MIL then asked me if my child was scared or upset by something in the middle of the night, would I simply turn him/her away and not offer our comfort? I told her that of course we would, that in special circumstances my child will always be welcome to sleep in our room, just not every night. Correct me if I am wrong but I do not think a person is an awful parent if they choose for their child to sleep in their own room in their own bed. At any rate, though I enjoyed having my MIL around and spending time with her, I think that being only a month away from my due date made me stress a little more over these child-rearing issues/debates that she kept bringing up. No big deal really, but stressful all the same.
Shower # 2
Last night, we had a shower thrown for us by Charles’ coworkers and again, it was really wonderful. We got a lot of clothes and TON of books, some of my favorites were The Giving Tree, Where the Wild Things are and Where the Sidewalk Ends, as well as a ton of other classics. As soon as I have some time I plan on reading to the baby from some of these new books in the hopes that the baby will hear it and enjoy being read to in the future.
The one thing I really need to get cracking on is thank you notes. I haven’t started any of them yet and that is so not like me. Usually I start writing them the day I receive the gift but this time, my right hand is so “dead,” my handwriting looks like that of a serial killer. I have only sent out thank you notes to the girls in my little email group who have sent me gifts already, and I am sure that when they received my notes they thought my handwriting looked atrocious. Speaking of which, the girls in my group, who I have met on he internet, have been so sweet to send me such nice and thoughtful gifts - clothes, toys, books, bottles, even a diaper warmer. So as the woman in the Balmex commercial says, “Thanks guys!”
The Baby
The most important topic of all so I must save it for last. The baby has been moving around a lot. I still have not seen huge bumps running across my stomach, only rolls here and there and a lot of kicks. I am recently feeling a lot of AF like cramps that only last about 15 minutes per/day. There is no pain involved but a only a little discomfort. I have to admit that though my stomach was very large early on, the growth has definitely tapered off and I am nowhere as big as a lot of women 8 months pg. I am not small, but certainly not big. If I didn’t know better, I would almost think my stomach were shrinking. I just hope that that this doesn’t mean there is something wrong with the baby. Am I too small? The doctor seems to think everything is fine so I guess I shouldn’t worry but I can’t help it. I will never be as happy as when they place this baby on my stomach and tell me that s/he is healthy, please God, that is all I ask.
What is so weird is that I have waited for this moment all my life and I am in complete disbelief that I am only 4 weeks away from the one event I never thought would happen. It seemed like I had so much time back in September, October and even November, but where has the time since gone? I feel like I am almost ready for this baby to come with respect to the room and the essentials needed for a newborn but what I can’t stop wondering about, worrying about, is am I mentally ready? Is anyone ever ready for the birth of their first child? Like I said earlier in this entry, I am so afraid of doing something wrong - not teaching it enough, not helping it enough, of just not being a good enough mother. But I am assuming these are normal feelings every mother-to-be experiences. At least I hope so.
Well, I wish I had more interesting topics to discuss this week but unfortunately, that is about it for now. Right now I am in definite countdown mode and am only concentrating on completing the few remaining tasks I have left - interviewing pediatricians, having car seats installed properly, disinfecting the entire house from top to bottom, packing my bag and enjoying these last few weeks Charles and I have as a couple. The only major task (aside from baby) we have left in front of us is the eternal house hunt. Boy will I be glad when that is all over, what a royal pain in the butt.
FYI, I have taken a bunch of pictures of the baby’s room as well as some recent pg and shower pictures. Rather than try and post them or create a web page, if anyone is interested in seeing them, please email me and I will send them to you personally. They are nothing special mind you but, just in case you are interested, I am more than happy to send them.
One last thing before I go, I would like to say “hi,” to Kelly, Nan and Liz who I used to work with back in CT. I just recently learned they read my diary and thought it was sort of “neat” in a way to find out that people I never would have expected are reading my diary. I guess this site is encompasses a much larger span of people than we can ever imagine. So if you guys are reading this entry, please stop by on my board to say hi sometime.
Until next week, love always,
Corinne
EDD 4-1-02
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