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August 14, 2001
August 24, 2001
9 Weeks Pg and SO SICK
For a person who is never sick, EVER, who never gets bronchitis, the sniffles, the flu, strep throat, not even so much as a headache, I find it highly ironic that this pregnancy is knocking me for a loop. I always thought I would be the type to breeze through pregnancy with no trouble at all, even at this early stage. I thought I would look glowing and healthy and be full of energy and spirit. NOT so. Talk about Fantasy Land.
Nausea, general sickness and feelings about food
I’ll start with last night and work my way back. Yesterday Charles had the day off and sometime around 3 p.m., I was still in my sweats, hadn’t showered yet, hadn’t done anything except doze on and off. Charles said to me, “I am getting worried about you, you never go out, you don’t go to the pool anymore, you don’t see your friends, you don’t do anything except stare at the four walls. I think you need to get out and get some fresh air. I know you are sick and feel lousy, but I think you might feel better if you got a out even for a little bit.” I completely agreed with him, so we decided to go to the mall and walk around a bit, since was pouring heavily outside.
After having showered and dressed, we left for the mall and I felt pretty good. However, on the way to the mall, I got so carsick. Carsickness has always been a problem with me for as long as I can remember, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that ever since I have been pg, it has been 10 times worse. Once arriving at the mall, it took me about 15 minutes to regain my composure from becoming so sick on the ride over. I must reiterate, that I never, ever throw up - I just have intense nausea and “wooziness,” like I’ve consumed too many cold medicine tablets. After about an hour, I started developing the most severe headache of my life. It felt like someone was driving a pickax into my cerebellum; the pain was so intense it was nearly blinding. I said to Charles that we had to go home, that I needed to lie down. We went home, we ate dinner and by 8 o’clock, I was in bed. I didn’t wake up this morning until 11 a.m. which is unheard of for me. I know you are probably wondering why I didn’t just take a Tylenol, but I guess I am just too paranoid that I will hurt the baby. Yes, the pain was excruciating, but I felt I could handle it. Plus, I would REALLY like to be out of the first trimester before I resort to pain killers.
Of course, all night long I kept waking up to go to the bathroom and when I did, I could feel my head still pounding. Another strange thing, and this only happens at night, when I get up to go to the bathroom, my breasts feel like they weight 10 lbs apiece and they burn like hell. I can no longer sleep on my stomach because of them, otherwise I feel like they have 3rd degree burns.
Aside from yesterday and last night, I generally just feel nauseous. I never feel great and food is just so unappealing. There are only a few foods which I can tolerate regularly and sometimes even enjoy. Oddly enough, these are: grapes, grape nut cereal and grape fruit juice. I am addicted to grape fruit juice, I must drink a quart a day. Orange juice is just not tasty to me anymore. I hope that g.f. juice is OK to be drinking all the time, but it is the only thing I really enjoy. I am trying to drink a lot more water as well, as this is not only supposed to be good for the baby, but is supposed to combat migraines.
It is the weirdest thing for me to not be able to enjoy food. I normally love my food and look forward to it. Now it is a chore and I really have to force myself to gag down something healthy for the sake of the baby. Last night we had one of my favorite meals, grilled chicken and peppers. I haven’t had chicken since I found out I was pg because I now find it so disgusting, but felt guilty that I was eating less protein than I should. I ate one small piece of the chicken and was so revolted by the whole thing I had to wash it down with more g.f. juice. I don’t know how to really describe any of this, it’s just like all my food has a stronger taste - chicken tastes “gamier” to me, o.j more acidic, eggs taste like nothing but pure yolk (even just egg whites), and anything with salt added tastes like I am consuming a salt lick. This is also weird for me because I love salt so much I would sometimes pour salt onto my finger and just lick it off. Now, I don’t even want crackers because the salt is too much too take.
I really worry that I am not eating properly and that my baby will suffer because of it. I just hope and pray that this m/s goes away soon.
Body Changes
I think I may have already mentioned that my eyes hurt when I wear my contacts. I wear my glasses as often as I can, but sometimes due to vanity I give in and wear my contacts. Of course, I suffer later for it but I always have to try.
If I didn’t know better, I would swear my hair was losing its curl. My hair is naturally curly. Not wavy, but curly, especially in the summer. Now, I noticed that it just sort of hangs there flat with no bounce or body and the curls are becoming fewer and farther between.. I have heard about this happening before. My MIL has a friend with very curly hair. After her daughter was born, her hair became pin straight and never returned to its normal texture. I don’t really care one way or the other, but I just thought it was strange.
It goes without saying that I do not look pg with my clothes on, but my clothes most certainly do not fit anymore. I have a very long torso and therefore find that normally, low rise pants work better for me. The buttons on my pants usually come up to the base of my stomach, which is now exactly where my little “pouch” is. The only way I can wear these types of low rise pants is if I leave them unbuttoned. Most of the shirts and tops I wear are fitted and come right to the top of my pant line. Therefore, because of my stomach, the bottoms of my shirts were sort of just laying on the top of my pouch exposing a strip of flabby stomach for the whole world to see. I couldn’t go out looking like that, so I just started wearing some of Charles’ shirts around the house and when we go out, I wear some larger shirts that I had initially bought as in-between wear. The larger shirts don’t really look so great, neither do larger pants so I just try and make do. I have already bought some maternity clothes and have actually even worn some, but thankfully I don’t go out enough anymore to have to worry about it just yet.
Speaking of not looking pg, I have just started looking for a new job. While I have thoroughly enjoyed my time off this summer, I am ready again to start working. With a new baby coming now it would be especially nice to have my salary back again. That said, I am wondering what I should do when interviewing - be honest and tell a prospective employer that I am pg or say nothing at all? I would appreciate your thoughts on the subject. I don’t want to be dishonest, but I am so afraid that telling the truth would result in an employer not hiring me. Then again, I would hate it if an interviewee lied to me and then after I had hired them, I learn that they are pg. I would just think they were being sneaky and deceitful. Then again, one can argue that you are not lying to an employer if they don’t ask you if you are pg, which you know they cannot since it is illegal to do so. So if no one were to ask me, is it still lying if I just keep my mouth shut? I sort of think it is. Oh well, I can cross that bridge when I come to it.
Finding our the sex of our baby
A lot of people have asked me whether or not we will find out the sex ahead of time. I have always wanted to wait to find out the sex until the day of birth. Before we became pg, Charles had always said he wanted to find out beforehand. This used to be a constant source of debate between us but now that I actually am pg, Charles has switched over to my theory that finding out on our baby’s actual birth day would be so much more special (to us). For me, I think because everything about conceiving this child has been so non-traditional, I want to maintain the last possible tradition and that is to wait until the birth to know the sex. I have always had visions of the baby popping out of me, hearing the cry and then hearing my doctor, (or preferably my husband) say “It’s a boy!/ It’s a girl!” Nino told me a great story the other day, and I hope she won’t mind me telling it here. She said that when her daughter Nat was born, the best part of the whole birth (aside from getting to hold the baby), was when her husband Guy whispered in her ear, “Honey, it’s a girl!” She said it was so special, so sweet, and such a touching moment for both of them. That’s exactly what I want. This is not to say it isn’t special if a u/s technician tells you the sex, I just really want to hear the news during the most emotionally significant and intense moment of all, when my baby comes into this world.
Now I know a lot of you will argue that it is so much more practical to know beforehand for the sake of decorating, etc. And, perhaps it is. However, even I who love decorating and anything to do with furniture, colors and patterns, does not feel that this is enough to spoil what I have waited for for a lifetime. My baby’s room will not necessarily be pink if it is a girl, nor blue if it is a boy. And as much as I love yellow nurseries, it won’t a gender-neutral yellow either. I honestly don’t know what it will be, it doesn’t really matter at this point. As long as my baby comes home to me on or near its due date, healthy and complete with all its proper body parts, I can worry about clashing colors and dainty little dresses later. Don’t forget, this is the same person who may be dressing her son in a red heart sweater, just on principle alone. : )
Baby Story
I know a lot of you out there watch this show and it has always been one of my favorites. Admittedly, I had stopped watching it for awhile when I had had such a rough time conceiving because it was simply too painful to watch. Now that I am pg, I have become re-addicted to the show and usually am able to watch all 4 episodes/day. I enjoy this show so much I would absolutely LOVE to be on it but here is my question, maybe you can answer it. Did you ever notice that the show mentions that the couples must live in the Los Angeles area in order to be on the show so that the crew can arrive to film the birth? I can completely understand that rule, however I guess my confusion comes into play when after that little contingency statement comes on the screen, the next thing you see is that the baby was born at some hospital in NJ, CT, PA or some other east coast state. Since when were any of these locations considered to be in the Los Angeles area?! Man, when I see that on the T.V. screen, I could just scream because it is such a blatant contradiction. Charles says I should try and contact the show to ask them why the discrepancy, but I was wondering first if anyone out there had any ideas.
Movie Review
America’s Sweethearts - 0 Babies
This movie sucked, plain and simple. This story is about women, a demanding and spoiled movie star played by Catherine Zeta Jones and her sister, played by Julia Roberts. Catherine Zeta Jones had been dating another movie star, played by John Cusak, when she dumps him for another guy leaving John in a state of complete depression. Julia Roberts, who is also CZJ’s personal assistant, starts to (predictably) fall in love with John Cusak. John starts to fall for Julia but then begins to put her off when CZJ shows him a little bit of interest.
I wish I could add more to the plot but that really was all there was to it. Of course, it goes without saying that Julia and John end up together at the end of the movie, not that you care by that point. At the end of the movie, all I really cared about was getting the hell out.
I would not have called this one of Julia Roberts’ greater roles - she looked very unlike herself, frumpy, dumpy and bookish. She was supposed to look very unglamorous, and trust me, in that capacity the movie succeeded marvelously. CZJ looked fabulous as always, but acted like a complete bitch throughout the entire film. Actually, now that I reflect upon it, I am not so sure it was all acting. John Cusak, who has never been one of my favorite actors, looked like his usual brooding, depressive self. I don’t know, maybe it’s me, but I just don’t see this man as anyone’s stereotypical great-looking actor - he was completely wrong for this part. His body is certainly not that of Brad Pitt, his eyes are squinty and too close together, sort of like a Cyclops and he has this jet-black hair combo going on with this vampire-pale skin. He would have been a great choice if the movie had been Rain Man II, and they needed someone to play Raymond’s long lost idiot twin brother. But as a top 10 movie star with hunk-status, the directors of this film must have been dreaming. Either that or the casting crew consumed multiple six-packs when they chose John for the role. A better choice would have been my all-time favorite, “Tom,” (Selleck) or even Hugh Grant, who despite his engaging in unacceptable (and illegal) sexual relationships, always manages to look devilishly cute.
My advice to you is that if you haven’t already seen this movie, don’t. Don’t even wait for it to come out on DVD. Instead, think of all you can do with $8.75 rather than wasting it, as well as two hours of your life, watching that insultingly crappy film. This movie was clearly geared for Julia Robert-aholics, who are duped into thinking that the movie must be fabulous simply because Julia graced it with her presence. If it’s Julia you are seeking, go watch Pretty Woman for the 8000th time - it will be much more rewarding and worthy of your time. And there is also Richard Gere to consider...
Until next week,
Corinne and her baby
EDD 4-1-02
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