 | Diary Navigation:
|
October 10, 2001
October 10, 2001
16 weeks pg
I have a little post-it note in front of me with all the various topics I would like to address in this entry - it’s gonna be long, so be forewarned...
How I feel
I feel pretty good, except once again, for the pinched-nerve type sensation in my lower back. I have very limited m/s only apparent if I forget to eat. My skin even seems to be clearing up (a little) but of course, it is still as oily as vat of Crisco.
How I look
My breasts are bigger and veiny. In the beginning of my pg, they seemed to sag a little (a new experience for me), but now they are so firm and taut they look like breast implants.
Oddly enough (and this worries me), my stomach looks smaller than it once did. Admittedly, I have been watching what I eat in these last couple of weeks, drinking a ton of water, eating (more like force-feeding because I now hate them) vegetables and cutting way back on my carb intake. So, perhaps I am tapering off in the belly-growth department. Needless to say, all I do is worry that my child is starving or dying or both and this is why my stomach seems smaller. Has anyone else ever experienced this?
Fetal Movement
I only feel movement about once every 3 or so days, give or take a day. And then it is only limited movement. Sometimes, I lay on my back with a glass of o.j and a glass of chocolate milk by my side and after drinking both (tasty combination) wait to feel something, which I often do. It’s usually just a little spasmodic type sensation, but it’s there. I haven’t felt anything in 2 days now so we all know that if Corinne doesn’t feel something by tomorrow, it’s time for the net and men in white jackets. I should be a real pretty sight once the baby gets here if I continue like this.
Heart rates as related to gender
Everyone is always talking about how they think they are having a girl because the heart rate was X, or a boy because the BPM (beats per minute) were Y. My doctor said it’s all hogwash and I tend to believe her - every time I watch Baby Story and the BPM are shown during delivery, if the heart rate is 140 or above, it ends up being a boy and vice versa. Well, the belief is supposed to be the opposite, that the higher the BPM, the more likelihood that the baby will be a girl, so it really makes you wonder. I investigated this matter further on the internet and every article/website/anecdote I could find on the subject mimicked what my doctor believes. Of course, I could care less but it is still interesting to speculate. I know Nino said that when she was pg with her first baby, the heart rate was slower, making everyone think it would be a boy - she wasn’t. : ) Anyway, I would be interested to hear what others think about this.
Will a fish-free diet keep my baby out of the Ivy League?
All week long I have been bugging my friends and family about what they think I should do about my consumption of fish - is it OK not to eat it or should I force it down? I had always heard that fish consumption could be dangerous due to the high levels of mercury it contains. Of course, I considered this to be perfectly great news seeing as how I couldn’t stand the sight of fish anymore. Then one day last week, I got an email from Baby Center (you know the kind, where they tell you about your baby’s various stages of growth), mentioning an article that speaks of how fish is good for your unborn child. Like a complete moron, I click on the link and read this article that essentially says that it is very important for the mother of an unborn child to consume fish because it is crucial to a baby’s brain development. The article also said that fish can help your baby be more intelligent. So, I am thinking “Great, just great - I have not had one bite of fish throughout this entire pg because it makes me gag, and now because of it, my poor child won’t be able to add 2+2.” I am of course exaggerating, but how can I not feel guilty? This is when I immediately emailed all my friends and asked their opinions. Naturally, they all told me that that is a ridiculous thought to think that my baby’s intelligence has been compromised, and not to worry about it. So, for awhile I stopped worrying. But of course, I started again because that is just me.
Question re baby products
1) Monitor - I registered for a baby monitor (don’t remember which brand, just know it had a lot of megahertz) based upon the advice of a salesperson at Babies R Us. She asked me if I lived anywhere near the airport (I live 2 miles from Dulles), and said that because of the airplanes, I would need a very strong monitor to overcome the sound waves; she then proceeded to direct me toward this $70 monitor. I feel like I have been had. Am I being cheap or is this woman making sense?
2) Wipes Warmer - I have always loved the idea of a wipes warmer, thought it was a great idea - who the hell wants a freezing wet tissue on their butt? Not me and certainly not a tiny, little baby. However, my girlfriend had one and said all it does it dry out your wipes so there is no more moisture on them - is this true? I was thinking of getting one but then thought about what my girlfriend said. Then, I read Jennifer S’ diary and she mentioned how her son hates cold wipes and that made me start thinking again - does a wipes warmer makes sense? What do you think?
Cool Toy
When in BRU the other day, we saw the NEATEST toy for infants. It is this electronic little machine that has numbers and dials and pictures all over it. If you push a button and turn the dial to a specific item, a voice will tell you what the dial is pointed at. Sounds pretty average, I know. But - the cool thing about this toy is you can turn it on to speak in French, English or Spanish. We LOVE this toy, it has a whole bunch of different phrases and words and I thought it was a very novel idea. So, of course we just had to buy it, (it was pretty cheap) and all that night long, throughout our home all you could hear is “Bonjour!” “Merci” “Au revoir” “Je parle francais” and other cute sing-song phrases. (Obviously, we like the French speaker a lot, but we do plan on getting around to listening to the other 2 languages). : ) Anyway, it is a neat toy if you are remotely interested in a very basic introduction of your infant to other languages.
Hearts In Atlantis
I won’t provide an official movie review here only because I feel I can’t truly critique the story without giving away too much of the plot. I really just wanted to talk about this movie because it triggered in me a maternal instinct I didn’t yet think I possessed. The movie’s main character is a little boy who befriends a boarder living in the apartment above his house. The boarder, played by Anthony Hopkins, is a psychic trying to escape the FBI, who is forcing psychics to detect/unearth communist activity. (The movie takes place in the ‘50’s). Without going into further detail about the plot, there are two portions of this film that really tugged at my future parental heartstrings. One part concerns the mother of the main character, a selfish woman who is so greedy and self-absorbed, she lies to her son on his birthday, telling him she had no money to get him a real gift and instead, gives him a library card. The very next day she comes home laden down with shopping bags full of items for herself as her deprived child watches on. Now, I know there are more painful childhood experiences than having a crappy birthday or not having a lot of material items, but how a mother could do such a thing is a mystery to me. I could NEVER supply myself with things as my child went without, it just isn’t right. That made me so angry, I didn’t even feel that bad later on in the movie when the mother endured a rather “unfortunate” experience.
The other part of the film that really made me feel already like a parent, involved a local bully picking on the main character and his best friend (a little girl). The bully would get his minions to hold back the little girl so he could feel her breasts. Later on in the movie, the bully snuck up on the unsuspecting little girl while she was reading a book in the woods and bashed her over the shoulder with a baseball bat. Now, I do not consider myself to be a violent person. I have never been in a physical altercation, nor do I ever plan to. I also do not believe in taking the law into my own hands. However, if anyone, and I mean ANYONE were to ever hurt my child in any way, I seriously think I could murder or at least do some serious damage. Just from watching that movie, I was so riled up I wanted to tear that little kid apart bit by bit. If anyone put their hands on my daughter or hit her with a bat, all I know is that kid had better hide when he heard me coming. I would hunt him down like a rabid dog and then I would beat him within an inch of his life. Before becoming pg, I never had such intense feelings of revenge or violence toward anyone, but already now I feel very protective of this child I don’t even know. What choice do I have? If I don’t protect my child, who will? It goes without saying that I couldn’t even tell Charles about someone touching our child (especially a girl), because then not only would I have a hurt child, but a husband in prison.
On a lighter note, the movie was pretty good! : ) I highly recommend seeing it, but be prepared, it is a slow moving movie and not what I would call uplifting.
One thing is for sure, as long as my children are willing, I will definitely be signing them up, whether they are boys or girls, for karate classes as soon as is logical. I will never advocate that they use violence but I want them to at least be able to defend themselves should they need to. Unfortunately, I cannot be around them 24/7 to make sure they are unharmed but I can make sure they have the best possible chance of protecting themselves.
The Brat in Blockbuster (and the decline of discipline in America)
Finally the topic you have all been waiting for, one that I am sure will send many of you to my board to express your opinion. Well, here is the story:
A few days ago, Charles and I were in Blockbuster calmly minding our own business deeply engrossed in our movie selection process. In the background was heard the plaintive screaming and wailing of a 2-3 year old, as he looked longingly into a freezer case full of ice cream bars. His father, 4 aisles away, was completely ignoring him, trying to decide between the ever so intellectual “Murder on Prom Night” and “Chicks who Wear Leather.” A real Einstein we had here, so you get the picture. Anyhow, after the child realized that his caterwauling wasn’t getting him anywhere, he raced down the aisle where his father was standing (the same aisle we were in), so that he could get his father’s attention. As you probably know, the aisles in BB are not that wide so Charles and I together pretty much blocked the space needed for the child to pass. The child, better known in this story as Demon Spawn, runs right into me, becomes immediately infuriated that I was in HIS way and slaps my upper thighs with both of his grubby little talons and screams “Get away!” trying to shove me to the side, as much as a 2-3 year-old can shove a 32 year old pg woman. Needless to say, it took all of my self restraint not to grab that little mongrel by his mangy hide and go off completely. But, I remained calm and just let it go - I was in a rare good mood that day. The father, who had witnessed this whole scene, looked calmly on as if nothing had happened, ignoring not only the child, but more importantly, ignoring ME. So, Charles and I continued with our movie selection when all of a sudden this little terror comes running back and hits me AGAIN. This time I said to him “Don’t you EVER do that again!” His response “You shut up.” Once again, the lummox of a father was still in the aisle, completely aware of what had just taken place and completely unaffected by it. Honestly, I think he was rather happy that the little monster had left him alone for once.
I am sorry but has the world gone mad? Is this suddenly a world where a child can slap an adult, two times in two minutes, and tell her to shut up while its parents do absolutely nothing about it? Is the child now running the parent? Are parents now too lazy to discipline their kids? I know the story I described is extreme, but I have witnessed others that are very similar. Quite often these days you do see smaller children who hit their parents when they don’t get their way. What’s more appalling is that the parents take it. All I can tell you is that if I had ever hit my parents, I would have drawn back a nub because that hand would have been cut off.
With respect to my little demon in BB, I certainly didn’t expect the father to whip off his belt and beat the child to a pulp in the aisle, but that kid certainly deserved a whack on the butt (it wouldn’t have hurt him anyway, he had about 2 lbs of diaper on), or at the very least, a stern talking to!
Now, before the women of this board call DCFS (Dept. of Child and Family Services) on me and label me a child beater, let me say first off that I do not advocate beating your child with a belt. I don’t advocate beating a child period, but a spanking never hurt anybody, as long as it is on the butt. I don’t think a child should be slapped on any other body part or hit in the face until they are a mouthy teenager, but that is another topic altogether. Of course, it will all depend on the type of child you are working with. Some kids don’t need to be hit, some do. Some kids have the personality that if they are taught early on not to do this or that, will never need to be spanked. Some kids are just hard-headed no matter what or when you teach them and sometimes only a spanking is the answer (or some other method of discipline other than a “time-out.” Maybe taking away a privilege is the solution - who knows)? But one thing for sure is that ignoring a child’s gross misbehavior only guarantees one thing - a prison record in that child’s future.
The point is that I think a child needs to know who is the parent (adult) and who is the child. When I was a child I truly respected my parents as adults and as the individuals who made the decisions. A child needs to learn (in my opinion), that it doesn’t have choices and it isn’t owed an explanation as to “why?” I NEVER would have thought about having a tantrum because I couldn’t have a bar of ice cream. Wouldn’t have dreamt of it. And I certainly wouldn’t have questioned why. And you know what - my parents never hit me. They didn’t have to, I simply had that personality that if they talked to me sternly or seemed disappointed in me, I would be destroyed. Regardless, whether their parenting method was right or wrong, effective or useless, the bottom line is that they cared, they addressed my disciplinary issues and chose to be involved instead of being “too tired to deal with it.” And I’m not talking about being too tired to fight with your kid over whether or not he finishes his plate of broccoli, I am talking about being too lazy to discipline your kid when he slaps an adult in the store.
Can you even imagine what that child does to his parents at home if he is brazen enough to hit a complete stranger? Those parents better hide their knives, that’s all I can say or we’re looking at the Menedez brothers, Part II.
AFP Test
I have been grappling for the last few days on whether or not to get the AFP test done. I simply could not decide. Charles is completely against it and so is my mom. They both think that if you are not going to terminate the pg no matter what, why bother finding out? I thought it would be best to know beforehand so that I could prepare. Charles doesn’t think it would be worth “ruining” the remainder of my pg and that you can’t prepare but so much more in 4 months than you could at the time of birth. I still don’t know. So, even though my OB advised against having the test, I called one of the infertility nurses at Shady Grove to get her opinion. She essentially said that if they get a positive on the AFP, they will schedule a Level II u/s which should be able to detect evidence of Down’s or spina bifida, etc. If the result is still unclear after the u/s, an amnio would be scheduled. So, I told her that my doctor’s practice offers Level II u/s regardless of the status of the baby’s health, and that I already have one scheduled for 11/9. The nurse then said that I will probably be all right then and not to worry. But then she added that she still thinks it is a good idea to get the AFP done anyway. So - again, just as I thought I had come to a final decision, here is another person telling me to get the AFP done. Additionally, a girl posted on my board who advised that even if you don’t want to terminate the pg, if you knew beforehand whether your baby had spina bifida, for example, you can arrange a specific birthplan to better suit the child’s needs, such as a C-Section. I hadn’t even thought of that!!! It was a really good point so I started getting really upset, I just didn’t know what to do. I decided to call my father and after explaining the whole process and what it entailed and what it meant, this is what he said:
“Look kid, life is full of a lot of important decisions and a lot of crap shoots. Life is also messy more often than not. But despite all that, sometime you just have to throw a dart at that dart board and hope it hits something, you know? Nothing in life is a guarantee and your best bet in life is having a little faith and praying for the best. The bottom line is you have to decide how you will feel if you do have a child with a disability. Will you look back on this time and say ‘Dammit, I wish I had had that test?’ Or will you say, it doesn’t matter one bit?’ If looking back you decide that you wouldn’t have changed what you had done, you shouldn’t get the test.
Personally, I have faith in you and I think that no matter what, that baby will be fine, we’ll certainly love it so it doesn’t really matter, OK?”
At this point, I interjected by saying “But if I know now that something is wrong, I can take classes, join support groups, I can prepare...right now I feel like the world’s worst mother-in-waiting because I don’t want the test, everyone I know gets it and I feel irresponsible not taking advantage of what this test could possibly offer me.”
My Dad just said, “No matter what happens in life, you will never be prepared. Oh sure, you can be more well-read on the subject, you can find others to help support you, but the bottom line is you will never be fully prepared or emotionally ready until the moment calls for it. Knowing that, why not just pray for the best and enjoy the ride? Life is so short and you are spending most of yours worrying about what you can’t control. Another thing, no one will ever think you are irresponsible because you didn’t get this test. Either way, nothing you do will change what is destined to be. Like I said, just enjoy the ride. It really goes so fast, it will be over in the blink of an eye.”
So, my decision is made. My father has never steered me wrong yet. I know you must think it is funny that I rely on my father’s word over anyone else’s, even my own husband’s. But besides trusting my father’s opinion, something he said just clicked with me. I have waited a lifetime to get on the best roller coaster ride ever invented. I have sweat in the hot sun, had people cut in on my line, waited while I watched others getting strapped in where I wanted to be seated. I am finally here, and now that I am, should I miss the most amazing dip because I am too scared worrying that I might actually fall out? I’m in the ride now, there’s nothing that I can do at this point to change my destiny. So instead of worrying, I think I will just sit back in my seat, grab the bar in front of me and hold on for dear life. I may scream or I may laugh and I will probably have an enormous headache when it’s all over - but one thing is for sure, I will enjoy the ride.
Until next week,
Corinne and her baby
EDD 4-01-02
 |  |
|
want to keep a diary on iParenting?
Authoring a diary on the iParenting network allows you to chronicle your family's story, preserving it for years to come. It's also a great way to get the most out of the iParenting community. Click here to start...
|
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families. 
