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October 26, 2001
October 26, 2001
18 Weeks
It is simply amazing to me that this pregnancy is close to being half over, where did the time go?
How I Feel
Bloated and full of water, like I could float away. I also feel nauseated every time I see that commercial for Arby’s “fresh sandwiches,” or whatever they are called. For whatever reason, those things gross me out beyond belief. Fresh my ass, that sandwich has got to be as rancid as fried spam. And speaking of cravings or aversions, in this past week, I have developed a real craving for soy milk, I simply cannot get enough of it. I used to drink a lot of it last year but then I read that soy interferes with your fertility so I cut it out completely. I had some again this weekend and have been addicted ever since. Another craving I have been having is for pot stickers and spring rolls. My mother was visiting for the weekend and she and I went out for some. Every day since, I still crave this same food but of course, I don’t give in to it, I can’t afford the calories.
I constantly have severe back and neck pain, often accompanied with migraines. The only thing that works is bed rest, sleep and Tylenol. Sometimes my headaches are so bad, I think I may throw up.
How I Look
Fat. Even my arms are gaining weight, it’s disgusting. As I mentioned, my mother was visiting this weekend and she commented several times on my weight gain. I could see her eyeing me and assessing my body several times. She even felt my arms to assess the “flabbiness” factor and then commented on how she can’t believe I am even gaining weight in my arms (something I never do, my arms have always been thin). Regarding my weight gain, this brings me to my next topic.
Monthly Doctor’s Appointment
I went for my monthly check-up yesterday morning and I must say, aside from hearing my baby’s heart beat, it wasn’t one of my better appointments. First of all, I was thoroughly pissed at the fact that they are making me get all of my blood work redone (HIV, hepatitis, etc.), cultures redone for gonorrhea, chlamydia, etc., and urine samples for other miscellaneous infections/diseases. The reason this pisses me off is because I had it all done within the last 6 months but that is simply not recent enough for my OB. I understand their point, I really do, but it was still annoying nonetheless.
Second, I was irate over the fact that the nurse who took my blood pressure and my doctor both tried to browbeat me into having the AFP done. At least my doctor was a little more tactful about it than the nurse. The nurse, who I usually really like, kept pressing me on the issue and when I finally just said, “We really just don’t want to get it done,” her simple response was “Well, you obviously don’t mind surprises, do you?” I find that to be a completely inappropriate comment to make but fortunately for the nurse, I was feeling kind and let it go. My blood was definitely boiling, however - what she said completely smacked of a veiled threat and I did not appreciate it. When my actual doctor pressed me about it, I couldn’t take it anymore and I just said to him “Look, Dr. T (the doctor I saw last time), told me that she didn’t have the AFP with her 2 kids and that she has seen too many women get false positives and worry for nothing. I trust her opinion... (wanting to add to the end of that phrase ‘more than yours!’). The bottom line is he may very well be right about getting the test, I simply don’t find it appropriate to continuously force this issue on me.
Third, I was annoyed/depressed/disgusted with the weight I put on this month -EIGHT POUNDS - ugh! The thing is, I don’t know how I do it! Half the time, I forget to eat lunch and then force feed myself when I am not even hungry because I feel bad that my baby is missing a meal. When I told my doctor this, you know what he said? You’ll all love this, he said “Well, Corinne, if you don’t feel hungry than I would advise that you go ahead and skip a few meals, you can afford it. Your baby will not starve and you certainly are not malnourished.” This last bit was uttered with a silly grin on his face and a gleam in his eye. The thing is, he said he is not concerned with my actual weight, he actually feels my weight is normal for my height and the baby’s gestational age, but he just feels I am putting it on at a faster rate than most. He says I will be fine if I taper off but if I don’t, I am headed for trouble. I swore to him (and Charles confirmed it) that I don’t eat fattening stuff, I don’t like ice cream, even now. I don’t eat junk food and I mostly eat a lot of fruit. My daily diet consists of a bowl of oatmeal with orange juice for breakfast, a piece of cheese, a piece of fruit and a sandwich for lunch and small bowl of pasta with a salad for dinner. I NEVER eat dessert, nor do I snack. Granted, I did in the beginning of my pg, but I don’t now. I don’t eat at food courts, I don’t go through fast foods, we don’t keep cookies or junk in the house so I simply was baffled, especially since I LIVE in the bathroom thanks to all the water I drink.
My doctor then asked me if I ever drink fruit juice. Well, I have to admit, I do drink a lot, I also tend to substitute lunch with fruit cocktail when I feel nauseous, which is often. My doctor then told me that that is definitely the problem since fruit juice and fruit cocktail is pure sugar. So, I guess from now on it is water only and one glass of orange juice for breakfast only. Yuck. I truly hate water. Starting tomorrow, Charles and I will both be dieting, watching our sugar intake as well as walking as long as we can every night. Hopefully, we will be able to increase the distance every night if my back is willing.
Of course, I will admit for the sake of accuracy that last night when we went grocery shopping, I was so disgusted with my appointment yesterday, I decided to lash out just this once in an act of defiance and threw a tray of freshly baked Halloween cupcakes (my favorite) into the basket. The hell with it, I deserve one freebie before I start my Pregnancy Diet. Of course, no one said I had to eat five of them in one sitting either. : )
I t may appear after what I have just described that I don’t like being pregnant. That is so far from the truth. I LOVE being pregnant. When I am not feeling badly, I truly feel GREAT. I love having a belly, I love the way I look in clothes (certainly not naked), and I love the way I feel when I am not sick. Being pregnant is great for me, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. But, not everything in this life is perfect, and for me, pregnancy is like that. It’s wonderful but is certainly not without its drawbacks. I feel it is only fair to be completely honest about what I am feeling during this pg. I suppose the best way to describe this pg so far is that I sometimes feel lousy physically, but most of the time I feel jubilant emotionally.
Full Body Massage
Charles had given me a gift certificate for my birthday for a “day of beauty” at a local spa. Well, I went in for a full body massage only and have to say, what a mistake. I really should have waited until after I was pg to have this massage. First of all, I had told the spa when I called to make the appointment that I was pregnant and they said that it would be no problem, they could easily accommodate me. When I arrived, no one seemed to remember that I had said I was pregnant and they told me that I would have to have an “altered” massage due to my stomach. What this actually meant was instead of having a full body massage, what I got was a thigh to toe massage and a brief neck massage. My back and hips went completely untouched. Of course, I understand why, but gee - couldn’t they have just told me that I should wait to have this massage until after I had given birth? Also, I could have sworn that every time a pg woman gets a body massage on Baby Story, they always massage the back as well. Of course, for pg massages special tables are usually provided with holes cut out in the middle so I guess that is why these women were able to still have their backs massaged despite being pg.
The worst part of the whole thing was since I couldn’t lie on my stomach, the masseur had me lie on my side with a towel barely covering my ever-blooming ass so that he could massage the backs of my legs. Never in my life had I felt more uncomfortable as he massaged my thighs. I couldn’t even enjoy it or relax because I was so worried that the masseur was revolted by my flabbiness. Either that, or I thought he had to be laughing hysterically inside and that I would certainly be the “butt” of many jokes (no pun intended), once I took my first step out the door. I mean, really, I looked like poppin’ fresh dough on that table and the masseur looked like a baker, kneading his lumpy bread. It had to be quite a sight. So, a word to those who are sensitive about their growing pg bodies: if you are a little shy and a little self-conscious about having a bit of extra fat and lack of muscle tone, wait until after the baby arrives to get a body massage. Otherwise, you may just be wasting a hard-earned $80 bucks.
Baby Furniture and Baby Products
Charles and I had been struggling to find a store that sold baby furniture we liked. We went to a couple of chains but didn’t see anything that really excited us. We had actually found a crib we liked on the internet, but after thinking it over, we realized that it made no sense to order a crib we only saw a picture of and hadn’t seen in person. It was just too great a risk for us, especially since we hadn’t found any other furniture to go with this crib. So, Charles asked around at work and got the names of a few stores in Rockville, MD, which is not that far from us. We went last weekend with my mom and it was at the last store we went to that we found the complete set that we were looking for all along. The crib is a sleigh crib, not ornate in any way, very simple with clean lines. We also decided to buy the matching dresser/changing table and dresser/armoire. The dresser/armoire is really big and looks like it will hold a lot of clothes. What we liked most about this set is that even though it technically is baby furniture, it can easily be used as adult furniture later on, for example, if we chose to use this furniture in a guest room. Most likely, we would use this furniture as our child grows, my only concern was that for a young boy the furniture might be a little too feminine for his taste since we are ordering the set in antique white. It looks totally appropriate for a male infant or toddler, I’m just a little unsure as to how a 5-10 year old may feel about it. Charles didn’t think the furniture was feminine at all, he felt it was completely unisex, especially since he says they sell a lot of white furniture at his store for boy bedroom sets. Despite this, it would not surprise me at all if a boy didn’t want white furniture. No matter, the set would look great in a guest room so there is no chance that the furniture would ever go to waste and we really do love it.
As a little aside, when we walked in the store a couple of saleswomen were eyeing me and smiling. One of them walked up to me and said “Do you know what you are having?” I told her we didn’t and that we didn’t plan to find out. The lady then said, “Well, I have predicted every customer that I have had in my store and I have never been wrong before. I’m telling you right now, you are definitely having a GIRL!” Naturally, I put no stock in this woman’s prediction, but thought it was funny considering she is not the only person to have told me this.
Interesting thing about this store, if you want to order baby linens but choose not to find out the sex beforehand, the store will ask you to choose linens for both boy and girl. When you have your ultra sound, you ask your doctor to write a note to the store indicating what the sex is. The store then orders the appropriate linens and they can be mailed to your home after the baby is born but before you come home from the hospital. I thought that was a pretty neat idea. Fortunately we don’t have to resort to this method as we have also found linens that we think will work for both a boy or a girl. The linens are from April Cornell (common mall store similar to Laura Ashley but a little funkier), and the colors are blue, raspberry red and violet. I know, it sounds horrible but honestly, it is all very pretty and very unisex.
Another baby store that we discovered was called Buy Buy Baby and was very much like Babies R Us except a little more “elegant,” with a ton more selection. For example, I don’t know if you have ever seen the movie “A Smile Like Yours,” but in that movie they show a triplet stroller that is incredibly luxurious. This stroller doesn’t look like anything you have ever seen before, it is so fancy. Well, BBB has this very stroller. Despite the selection and the quality of the products, the prices are almost identical to BRU, it was a very cool store. Supposedly their are others around the country but this is the only BBB I have ever seen or heard of.
Strollers
And speaking of strollers, we also found the exact stroller we want. It is the Bertini Cruiser aluminum classic pram and I will admit (before everyone jumps on me) that it is not the most practical stroller you can buy. It comes in a pretty blue plaid with big white rubber wheels and a chrome base. The seat part flips back to supine position and is also higher up than most strollers. The seat can be removed completely from the base and flipped to face forward or backward, depending on what you want. This stroller is also strong enough to hold a 4 year old so it is pretty sturdy. Finally, it has a cover that zips over the whole front of the stroller and forms a sort of carriage-like feature. This feature serves to keep the baby warm in cold weather. OK, those are the pros, here are the cons: it weighs 37 lbs. WITHOUT the child in it and it is a pretty wide stroller. But here are my thoughts: 1) you only live once and this is the stroller I have always wanted, 2) we will buy an additional stroller that is lighter and more practical, 3) why should I care, I am not the poor individual who have to lift it and carry it, that’s Charles’ job! He’s a big guy, he can handle it. : )
Seriously though, we looked at so many strollers and simply didn’t like most of them. We do realize that we will regret it if we don’t buy one of those strollers with the infant seat combination. I can see how handy they are and why so many people buy them, you really do need that type of stroller if you are a person out with the baby all by yourself. I just hate the fact that they look like little minivans complete with cup holders and trays, but I guess we really don’t have a choice. We found one combination stroller that we like, the Peg Perego, complete with the infant seat and everything but sadly enough I think what really sold us on it is that there were no cup holders or trays. Don’t ask us why, it’s just a personal preference, but Charles and I have never liked this particular feature despite the convenience and ease it provides.
Mattresses
I know I already asked Jenn B. about this and you know I trust you Jenn, I am simply interested in what others have found. When buying mattresses for your crib what should you look for? There are mattresses ranging from $40 to $80 to $130. The $80 and the $130 mattresses seem almost identical, the $30 felt like wet sponges. Jenn B. said she read that there is no need to buy the most expensive mattress, that the mid-grade is of the same quality as the expensive brand. What do you all think?
Yelling
I have yet another question. Tonight Charles and I were watching Survivor and as usual got incredibly wrapped up in the action. We cheered when challenges were won, yelled when the person got voted off. When Jeff Probst announced that the doctor had to collect his gear and get out, Charles and I were whooping and hollering like we had a personal interest in the matter. We were like “YES! That’s right! Get off the island, you have GOT TO GO!!!!!!” We were very loud and basically sounded like a couple of banshees. Suddenly it occurred to me, do you think the baby can hear our yelling and “think” Charles and I are yelling at each other? I have heard it said that people who yell at each other and fight during a pg can disturb the baby. Is it the same thing in our case? It was happy yelling to us, but maybe to the baby it hears us as just yelling and not necessarily “happy.” I know I am being paranoid but I would hate to think I could be indirectly upsetting my baby and not even realizing it.
Before I close, I wanted to note that Charles and I attended an AIDS benefit this past Wednesday night hosted by the store (Crate & Barrel) and almost 1000 people were there from the D.C. area. Naturally, there were a lot of gay couples in attendance with a few of them in wheelchairs, obviously suffering from this fatal disease. I looked at these people and was amazed that I ever felt justified in complaining about a damn thing in my life. I really have it too easy. It is so unfair what a person with AIDS has to go through, it just really disturbs me. Additionally, it makes me so angry to think of the discrimination against Gays and Lesbians that goes on every day. I just seriously hope that they find a cure for this horrible disease one day and I pray to God that our children can grow up in a world where AIDS is no longer in existence.
Until next week, I wish all of you out there who are pg a happy, healthy pg and baby. To those still trying, I wish you all the best of luck, you are in my prayers. Take care and keep trying.
Love always,
Corinne and her baby
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