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September 2, 2003
Continued...
As scared, as I was to walk in the door, the warmth, love and support my mother's arms gave me was a comforting feeling. My sister is very much like my father and stood their looking very stone like a statue. All her feelings now bottled up, tight inside her. My mom said to her "it's okay to cry"... Susan replied with "I just don't have anything left in me to make tears". How very true, I thought after she said that. She had spent most of the morning in tears while I was the opposite.
We weren't home 20 min. and everything began. My mom and brother had decided on the funeral home but that was it. She was waiting for us to get home and do it as a family. We just began discussing what was important to each of us when the doorbell rang.
I said I would get it sense I needed to make a trip to the bathroom anyway. It was a friend of the family and she brought us lunch. She figured that is what we needed most, not a card or flowers but food for our tummies and just someone letting us know she would do anything for us. It was so thoughtful and came at a great time. I didn't realize how hungry I was. Of course I blamed how much food I ate on the fact I was pregnant. Everyone just laughed at me. My mom said "honey, eat as much or as little as you want".
With our tummies full and most of our idea's on what us 3 kids wanted for our dads funeral we headed out for our appointment at the funeral home. My uncle, aunt, and pastor/friend of the family were meeting us there.
I never knew how many things there was to do when planning a funeral. We decided on the casket, the colors of the cloth, the announcement for the papers and so many other things. By the time we left there my mom was a mere 7,000 more broke than when we went in, and that doesn't include any burial as my dad was cremated and that would happen at a later time. I jokingly said to my mom... I hope you like Tupperware! We all had a laugh and it felt good.
After running from the funeral home to the flower shop, than home to my house to give everyone there the details we headed back to my mom's house. It was almost 8 pm and we still had so many phone calls to make.
My husband had called my cell around 5:30pm to say they had stopped for the night. They were just out side Tennessee but both were tired and couldn't do anymore. I was so relieved to hear that.
What you're saying.... ????
I knew my husband had practically no sleep and was driving by himself. Chris my sister's boyfriend was behind him and this was his first "long distance drive". On the way down him and my sister switched driving so neither became to tired. This time there was no one to switch with. To no they were no longer on the road and safe in a hotel room took a huge stress factor off of me. He said they hope to be in around 6-tomorrow night. That was fine as we made the funeral stuff start on Friday. Making sure they would be home.
If there is one thing I learned that week it was, never take your family for granted and to be thankful for them. My dad's funeral was beautiful. My sister and I both spoke. We had the Plymouth fife and drum play and 2 players from the Plymouth marching band end the ceremony with taps. It was very fitting as those were the two groups our family have been actively involved in for many years. They too have become an extension of our family. We saw over 450 people in 1.5 days. I never felt so much love and support before. My dad would have been.... (I can't think of the words) speechless, I guess at everything.
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I still can't believe after going through as much as I have during the last 40 weeks that my pregnancy has been so wonderful. I look back and think to myself... where has it gone. If you are wondering, which by now I am sure you are, I am not going to go back and update anymore. I am moving on with happy times. I will post a link to our website where you can finish reading up on the rest of my pregnancy.
As of today I am officially 40 weeks pregnant. I am celebrating this miracle with a trip to see my dad and my doctor. I go every week to the cemetery to give my dad his updates. It has really helped me in grieving "safely" for my dad. Not that there is such a thing but, when you are pregnant at only 14 weeks when something like this happens you have to think about your child more than your emotions. In a few days my dad will have been gone for 6mths. How the time has gone bye. My journey to becoming a mommy is almost here. I never thought this day would happen. I just remind myself everyday how lucky I am.
I will update after my doctors appointment today!
Pregancy dust to all still trying and belly bumps to those pregnant.
Dawn and hopefully arriving soon, Baby Mackenzie
P.S. Here is the link to the web page. http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/m/mackenzie2003/
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