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December 28, 2002
Christmas is always a magical day and this year would have been the exception but you changed it all for us.
Its so hard thinking back to that time. Life was just so "crappy". My dad, your grandpa John had just been diagnosed with a brain tumor. He was diagnosed with Lung cancer in March of 2001. Your mommy and daddy moved back up here from Florida to help with your grandpa's care and to also help with your aunt and uncle. Susan was getting ready for her senior year in high school and John was just starting 10th grade. Somehow we all managed to get through a rough 8 mths of chemo and radiation. Your grandpa was responding well and was diagnosed to be in remission almost a year to the day of his original diagnosis of cancer. That was almost too good to believe and I am sorry to say didn't last long. Grandpa started having other problems. He would just black out or collapse. They did all these tests from brain scans to heart checks and everything was coming up fine. Then it seems like out of know where he started throwing up and not being able to keep any food down. Grandma and I took him back in and said, "Hello, we are getting worse here. Can anybody help?" They decided maybe it was his gall bladder and schedule another test but they couldn't do that for 3 weeks. I was so angry that day. I could see my dad getting sicker and waiting another 3 weeks after dealing with this for the last 4 months seemed ridiculous, but what choice did we have? Thank goodness we didn't have to wait that long. After 2 trips to the ER for dehydration in 5 days and them pumping him with fluids and then sending him home, we had a appointment with your grandpa's oncologist. We weren't supposed to see the doctor but after they saw one look at grandpa they got him right away. He asked a few questions and said your my friend, just gave yourself an MRI. After starting an IV for fluids again they sent him down to get the scan. With in hours we were told he has a brain tumor. 10 days before Christmas and the biggest bomb had just been dropped.
With in 3 days of his diagnosis grandpa was admitted to the hospital and scheduled for surgery. The operation was long but went well. They got most of the tumor but the bad news was this time it was 2 different types of cancer, a fast and slow growing cancer. After 6 days in ICU because your grandpa had some complications he was finally moved to a regular room on Christmas Eve. He was supposed to be discharged at the latest that day but with everything that had happen there was NO WAY. He was really bummed out, as were the rest of us. This year Christmas just wasn't going to be a fun, happy time...or... so we thought!
After having the worse weeks of my life I just couldn't even imagine why we had to do Christmas. Your surprise announcement on Christmas Eve just seemed to make that time something I didn't think possible, magical, memorable and just a happy day.
After waking and looking at the test again to make sure I hadn't dreamed it, your mommy and daddy exchanged gifts. Nothing seem to even come close to the gift with had already shared. Its funny how I didn't care if I got one present or not, I already had the biggest and best present I was going to receive that year. As we opened gifts we sat there talking about how finally our New Year's resolution had come true that year. We both were beaming.
After getting ready and loading gifts we headed out to grandma's house to exchange gifts and then to the hospital to have a family breakfast and give grandpa his gifts.
We arrived at grandma's house and everybody said finally there here we, can open gifts now. Your daddy opens the first gift and it was his big gift this year. He got his digital camera. He almost spilled the secret on how great this was to get. I shot him a quick look and he caught himself, fwwww! After about 20 min. of opening gifts your grandma got to the gifts from us. I had to make her stop and put her glasses on to read the tag. To grandma she reads... Love always, Dawn, Todd and Baby.... and BABY she screams. Does this mean???? We are having a baby? As I shook my head yes, your grandma was bawling, your auntie Susan was "screaming" into my tummy and your uncle john was congratulating your daddy and saying this is way cool. Your big brother Robert was living at your grandmas house at that time and he just jumped up and gave me a huge hug saying it better be a boy!! I had to laugh and said that's already decided.
After that everybody wanted to go share Christmas with Grandpa. We packed up everything and headed to the hospital. We all ate a great breakfast that grandma had made and opened the rest of our gifts with grandpa. It almost seemed like we were at home and not in the hospital. After Grandpa got done opening his last present, I told him we had one more gift from Todd and I. He looked at me with a puzzled look on his face. I wish I would have brought our camera, but we had forgot. I said, "Dad, I know you're tired, and this Christmas is hard but we really need you to keep fighting". He said, "I will do my best". I said to him " he would need to do more than that because everyone needs his or her grandpa". That's when his eyes popped out of his head and he looked at me with this huge smile and said "are you pregnant?" I was so happy to say yes and the look on his face will stay with me for a lifetime.
Somehow Christmas Day flew by. I am not sure where it went but before I knew it I was dead tired and heading to bed at 7:30pm. Good thing we had no evening plans.
On Thursday the 26th I went into the doctors as soon as they opened to get an official test. I went to the bathroom and they took my blood. They then put me in a room where I waited for what seemed like an hour but was only about 10 min. for the results. The nurse came in and said CONGRATULATIONS, no more clomid needed for you. Everything came back a definite positive. We will see you on Jan. 14th for your first official visit. I left there in tears. Hearing that from someone else made it all sink in. You were rapidly growing in me. I was becoming a mommy!
Now I just wanted to feel all the symptoms but I was having none, or.........was I?
To be continued....
Dawn and Baby
TTM, I love meeting new people :)
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