I’m dedicating a lot of time to sorting out my diet. Boy, it’s going to be hard work to get the extra protein and calcium and iron I need and not pack on the weight. I already feel bigger - my breasts are burgeoning and I feel bloated a lot of the time. So I’m trying to work out a series of lunches and dinners and snacks that will give me the extra nutrients I need but are low in fat and kilojoules. It’s damn hard work. I’ve realised I don’t eat a whole lot of protein thanks to the fact that my diet is largely vegetarian and I despise milk. I’m trying to include the extra serves of protein I need but it’s hard to squeeze all this food into a bloated tummy… I’ve still got a way to go in the pursuit of an efficient diet. I’m keeping a record of everything I eat and then calculating it’s nutritional goodness so I can see what I need and what I’m missing out on. With all this extra food I’m eating I’m forced to give up treats and chocolate snacks totally - otherwise I’m going to put on way too much weight and I’ll be eating all damn day long! It’s a bit of a tragedy for me. I’m a choco-holic and with Easter just around the corner it’s hard to walk through the supermarket and not toss an egg or two, or a marshmallow rabbit, into the trolley.

Still, all this focus on diet is good. I’m enjoying it and I think I’ve worked out why. Well, two reasons actually. It helps balance out feelings of fear - fear that there’ll be something wrong with the baby, and fears that I won’t successfully stay pregnant. I don’t have too many bad moments, but occasionally I feel this fear and doubt creeping over me. At least if I know I’m eating really well and avoiding as many toxins and drugs and dietary deficiencies as possible, then I know I’m doing everything in MY power to help things run smoothly.

(I’ve given up alcohol, cigarettes went six months ago (yippee!!), caffeine is gone - both tea and coffee, dear sweet beloved chocolate is on it’s way out, and Mcdonald’s and other forms of junk-food are now restricted to a once a week treat.)

Secondly, all this focus on diet is distracting. It’s distracting me from thinking of the full enormity of what’s happening. I also suspect that underneath my cool and calm exterior I am jumping with a mixture of unabated excitement, nervous trepidation and impatience, and believe me, if I don’t get these feelings in perspective this pregnancy caper could be the LONGEST nine months of my life. Sometimes, even now, the days seem long and slow, and I’m eager to know what’s up ahead on this mysterious journey. All in all I think it’s best to stay calm and distracted, and not think too hard and long about what’s happening inside my body and who this little soul is that will be my first child…

Until next time, all the best.
Eloise