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Eloise's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 12/2/99 -------------------- 11/28/99 11/24/99 11/20/99 11/17/99 11/10/99 11/3/99 10/26/99 10/20/99 10/13/99 10/6/99 10/4/99 9/28/99 9/15/99 9/9/99 9/2/99 8/26/99 8/19/99 8/5/99 7/30/99 7/16/99 7/6/99 5/14/99 5/14/99 5/7/99 4/27/99 4/15/99 4/8/99 3/25/99 3/20/99 3/19/99 3/18/99 3/12/99 3/9/99 3/4/99 -------------------- Eloise's Introduction

November 17, 1999

39 weeks, ONE WEEK TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!

So here I am, sitting at the crossroads of life, a little bit bored, a little bit scared, a little bit shocked to be here, and maybe, just maybe, a little bit impatient for things to get moving. I know this is a really important moment in life, but I’m not at all sure how to act, what to feel, what to do. I feel as though these are my last days as an individual, as an unfettered adult, these are the last days of just me and my husband. Once the baby is born our whole lives will change. We will enter into what is probably the most important role of our lives -- being parents. We will have this child in our lives, in our hearts, in our minds, for ever more. Two will become three. And it’s a big change. It’s been just the two of us for ten years now. But it’s time. We both know in our hearts we’re ready for this change. I just wish I knew how to treat these last days, how to savour them, how to make the transition.

I’m in a strange mood. I guess it’s not surprising, given my state. I’m not sure what to write here – which is very unlike me. There are lots of things running round in my mind, little loose ends I probably need to tie up. This stage of pregnancy – the every-day-could-possibly-be-“D”(delivery)-day – is really weird. It’s almost beyond words and thoughts. I keep day-dreaming about the baby, but it doesn’t seem to make it any more real to me. I can barely believe that this belly, my belly, houses a real-flesh-and-blood, wriggling, squirming bundle of chubby arms and legs that will be our baby. It’s just too damn hard to imagine, too hard to believe. It’s weird. It’s AWESOME.

I feel close to this baby, yet I don’t know what it looks like. Whose face is it? Will I recognise him/her somehow? What will it feel like to finally hold him/her, finally see his/her tiny hands, tiny lips, open eyes? And what will it be like to hear that first tiny wail of his/her voice? See, it’s pretty weird when you really start to think about it. It’s very hard to imagine.

So, I’ve just got to be patient for a little bit longer. In a way I hope the baby comes late, although I must admit the body is feeling heavy and tired, achy and uncomfortable. But JK finishes work at the end of next week and it would be so nice if we could spend a few days together, here at home, preparing in peace and quiet together, before bubby arrives. But who knows? My doctor informs me the baby’s head is at least partly engaged and I’m having the odd crampy feeling every now and then, so I guess it could happen any time…………………

But don’t worry, you’ll be one of the first to know. I suspect I’ll be sitting here, typing away, telling you all the gory details the moment labour begins…. It is certainly my intention. So the question remains, will the big belly and I still be here next week???

If I had to guess I’d say yes, probably…

So until then,

Everyone take care,

Eloise