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Home › Diaries › Jacquie › January 8, 2001

Jacquie's Diary Entries

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January 8, 2001

Know what drives me crazy? Skinny pregnant women. I am surrounded by pregnant women, the kind who look like they have a cute little beach ball stuffed under their shirt. The kind you can say, "You don't even look pregnant from the back!" and really mean it. The kind who pack their pre-pregnancy Levi's in their hospital bag and wear them home the day after they give birth. And along comes Jacquie, whose butt is growing at the same rate as her belly. Who, in the next six months, will boast lunch-lady arms and a puffy face, swollen feet and extra wide hips. Sigh. I was more optimistic during my first pregnancy, but now I know the truth about how my body is going to "blossom." It has already begun! I still look cute now -- my belly fits nicely into my smaller maternity clothes, and is big enough to rub. I have actually been told that I "glow," and since I have not thrown up since Christmas Eve (!), that glow can not be attributed to blown blood vessels from the strain of morning sickness.

A couple of days ago, I went into a maternity clothes store to cash in a couple of gift certificates I had received for my birthday. They had one of those pillows in the dressing room that is supposed to give you an idea of how your clothes will fit in about four months. I put one on, and suddenly saw what I would look like if *I* were one of the lucky ones, the skinny pregnant women. I admired my reflection from all angles, imagining the adoring glances and kind comments I would receive in my ninth month (as opposed to my real experience of the deli clerk at Vons telling me that I looked like I should be in the hospital). Then I called the salesgirl and told her I needed at least three more pillows to see how the clothes would really fit in my eighth month -- one for each hip and one for my gluteus maximus -- and I do mean maximus. Skinny pregnant women have no place in my reality -- I am going to show the world how this pregnancy thing is done!



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