When I lost the baby in August they were LESS than supportive. BOTH my mother and grandmother (but mostly my MOTHER) were like, "Oh, it's no big deal, you're young you can have more children." I'm sorry but it's NO BIG DEAL?!?!?!?!? Losing a baby that you wanted more than anything in this world is VERY MUCH a big deal to me!!!! So you can see WHY my nerves are on edge about this. Most families when they find out someone is expecting in their family are excited and can't wait or something. Not my family. To them even if you are MARRIED and get pregnant it's "Oh my god, you got knocked up!!" Like some teenage girl in high school and they treat you like you have the plague (well, actually my mother). ( I am sorry to those of you who might be in high school or are very young, I don't mean to offend that is just the way my family is.)

At Thanksgiving this past year she tells everyone, "Alright, nobody is allowed to have anymore kids cause we can't fit anymore around the dinner table," and looked right at me. My husband wasn't there cause he was very very sick and had to stay home, but I mean that is just the kind of stuff I have to put up with in my family. So you can imagine WHY I am nervous about spreading my happiness in a family of one crabapple and the rest on the way to being crab apples. It's alright for my grandmother to have four kids and it is alright for my aunt to have four kids and my great aunts to have three and four kids but for ME to have kids is a no no?!??!?! I dont think so.....Sorry to ramble but when I get started on my family I just can't seem to stop. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers to give me the strength not to haul off and kill my mother if she makes an awful or crude comment as I approach Easter Sunday with nervousness......LOL

Jenea